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More salt for your TOOL!

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  • More salt for your TOOL!

    First off this is not me, just something I found surfing this morning. ENJOY!

    Adam sent me this after receiving the e-mail from someone he had contacted (via Kat) who was selling a Les Paul Silverburst on ebay:

    "Hi Adam: I understand you are looking for a Les Paul. The silverburst is a nice look. Iíve not heard your band play yet, but a friend of mine has. He suggested that I get you to give me a tour season back stage pass that I could sell to someone in each city you play, and that may help you offset part of the compensation for purchase of the guitar. I wasnít sure if that was enough, seeing Iíve never hear you play. Now if I also had a backstage pass for the Dave Matthews/Tim Reynolds show in Kenosha in April, and a backstage pass for DMB this summer here in Wisconsin, we may be a little closer on price. Iím taking it over to Uncle Bobís here in Milw, and Iíll have them set it up, so your guy doesnít have to work so hard. I think the price is at $2025 right now, but I think the last guy isnít serious. Iíd rather sell this guitar for the right reasons. The last serious off I had was $1875. Now, with that money, the limo to the shows for me, and the Tool backstage passes, maybe we could talk."

    For those who are interested, Adam still hasnít got the guitar, but heís told me that the two are a little closer on the asking price. Currently, theyíre still trying to hammer out a deal that doesnít involve Adam giving the seller (and Uncle Bob) rides to select shows in the ĎToolcopterí (the bandís new Bell 206 Jetranger helicopter), sit-ins in the recording studio and on stage for various Tool shows, access to Adamís swimming pool, and the use of any "spare" organ (such as a kidney) should the need arise (the seller lives near Milwaukee).

    In that Kat is busy with other things, I have kindly offered to negotiate a new deal. Along with the Les Paul silverburst (which Adam will pay the seller $666.00 in cash money), Adam wants the following: A year-long pass to the Mount Horeb Mustard Museum there in Wisconsin (so that he can attempt to sneak a bottle of ketchup into it), an unopened black and silver can of Schlitz Lager FBIR (1935), a brick of Radloffís cheese or any other Wisconsin Liptauer, a pair of moccasins from Kenosha, and the opportunity to go "cow-tipping" under a full moon with the seller, his friends, and Uncle Bob (if he wants to join in on the fun). For Adamís part, besides the cash amount mentioned above, he is willing to throw in these valuable items: A pound of truffles which were sniffed out by his very own pet pigs, a lucky black penny (that was in his pocket the night that Tool got signed), a pair of panties removed from a USC cheerleader during a kegger in which CDs of the Dave Matthewís Band were played non-stop, a scab reportedly from the knuckle of O.J. Simpson, a Cheeto shaped like the Virgin Mary and Child (Jesus), an ultra-rare jewel-encrusted Buddhist fly-swatter (from Assam?), and a mystery baggie that was found on Hollywood Blvd. (that may contain street drugs of some sort).
    57 VOS Les Paul Goldtop
    62 Thin Skin Stratocaster
    Mesa Boogie Lone Star 212
    Baby Taylor

  • #2
    Re: More salt for your TOOL!

    That was great for a laugh.
    It's such a fine line between stupid and clever.
    - David St. Hubbins


    • #3
      Re: More salt for your TOOL!

      Hahaha, I was wondering why tool was even bothering with this guy until I read adams requests. Thats great.