Originally posted by nexion218
View Post
I wouldn't do that, not even for you! I'm just a diamond in the rough and a real d!ckhead. But at least I never lie about it.
Joking aside, I did not finish the degree. Things went south on a personal level with my PI to the point where I'd gag from the thought of a lab or pipette. I LOVED doing it. I'd sleep at the microscope, spend 40+ hours in there and when I wanted to go home to sleep I got something like: "Isn't it too early for that? 40+ hours? Who cares? Do you expect a medal for that?" and the likes. It took me about two years to make the decision and in the meantime things escalated to unprecedented lows. So one day I went in, packed my stuff, cancelled my scholarship and never looked back. That guy made me hate something I loved and dreamed of doing since my childhood. And actually it's not just him, during those years I got to peek into the disgusting world of peer-reviewed and impact factor driven science that made me realize that a researcher's life today is about forcing out papers to get the next grant, not about science. Actual science is but a byproduct, a sideshow of the hierarchic capitalism (as I named it) of today's science. Of course there are sincere, genuine scientists out there, but based on what I saw, those are the ones who are without grant money and a proper group, locked away in the far corner of the building in a small office.
We did have a rather nice closing ceremony though, as the guy sued me for stating facts about him supported by hard evidence in an effort to call attention to the way PhD students are handled. He got humiliated in court, his claim withdrawn, case dismissed. Of course the story has many wrinkles and I am not without a fault either, but believe me: this situation was way beyond of what my character flaws would warrant. Many sided with me, but none of them had the balls to speak up when needed.
Since then I turned my back completely on what I spent the better part of my life learning, threw out most of my books and keep replacing everything with music, friends and family. My former PI of course published everything I did without mentioning me in the papers. But I sincerely don't care. At times I am bit sour about it as I know that my Mother and my granny would've been super proud if I pulled it off. But Mom's a goner and granny understood that I'm better off not wrecking my mental and physical health while earning a few extra letters on my ID card.
But most of the time I feel free. Got a job in different city with money enough to keep me afloat, I can work from 6 am to 2 pm, a supportive partner and a kickass cat, a way more mature attitude and way to learn and study music. So I'm cool with how things turned out, I just wish I had arrived to this point where I am now a bit sooner than 36.
Sorry Erl for hijacking your thread!
Sent from my SM-A115A using Tapatalk
Comment