Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

[Axl H]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

Any ideas, as to how I can grow a proper beard like yours??

[Lucid_Lunatic]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

Are you any good at drums?

I can keep one beat. the snare, hi-hat and bass drum, boom-chick-boom-chick. I can't do any fill in runs to save my life, so no I am no good at drums.

[Lucid_Lunatic]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

Any ideas, as to how I can grow a proper beard like yours??

I have finally got my goatee out long enough to braid: ala: Jack Sparrow on Pirates. It has took me the better part of a year to get it that long. I can grow a mustache and that little goatee and that's it! I have some spots under my neck, but I keep that mess shaved. My dad had even less facial hair than me and my grandpa never shaved in his life. He was also close to full bloded Cherokee so that explains no facial hair. I have always wanted a huge bushy Zakk Wydle type beard, but alas, it will never happen.

[jerryjg]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

Lucid, If I was there I'd give you a great big hug buddy! Men do not share thier feelings enough in this culture.
For instance ; what may be looked down upon by anyone who didn't know this was just a tender moment between friends...;

[ratherdashing]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

Any opinions on Neil Young?

[JOLLY]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

yeah dude, good luck with all those rationalizations and excuses ... i am sure that they get you through your life ...

as for me and my world, i assure you it is neither sheltered nor little ... but then again, i have no doubt that from your point of view, my world might as well be pluto - you cant see it from where you live ...

Ya know man, if you don't like Lucid then don't read his threads. Sure, he drinks all the time and party's. Big freakin deal!!

I've been thinking about your first post in this thread ever since I read it today. It really chapped my ass. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to read right through it and figure out that you just wanted to call him a loser in front of everyone for the most part.

Maybe there's a reason why he drinks so much. Maybe he has alot of demons from his past that haunt him, and the only way he knows how to deal with them is by drinking. Who's to say that Lucid's mother didn't die at an early age, maybe his aunt was murdered in front of him, maybe his best friend committed suicide and he found him, maybe his mother was an alcoholic and drank while pregnant with him, maybe he was mentally, physically, or sexually abused as a child. There could be a million different reasons.

You can't just judge a man by his "forum personality". If that were the case then......well, nevermind.

I like Lucid. He's a "good 'ole boy" like myself. I got your back man.

[Lucid_Lunatic]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

Lucid, If I was there I'd give you a great big hug buddy! Men do not share thier feelings enough in this culture.
For instance ; what may be looked down upon by anyone who didn't know this was just a tender moment between friends...;

I'd hug you too buddy, but the kiss is out of the question......... sorry

Any opinions on Neil Young?

Yep, I like just about everything I have ever heard from him. From C S N &Y to his solo stuff to the Crazy Horse stuff. He puts enough feeling into everything to make it good, evenif by most standards it's not..... I think my favorite is still MTV UnPlugged.

[Lucid_Lunatic]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

I like Lucid. He's a "good 'ole boy" like myself. I got your back man.

Thanks bro, and I got yours when you need it. You are good people, just like 99% of the other bro's here.

[ratherdashing]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

Ok, I have a better question (but the Neil Young one is still out there):

You've already mentioned how you're on disability and drink a lot. You've also said things along the lines of "you don't know where I've been, so you can't judge me." That's cool, and I can respect that to a certain extent, but how about this ... how about filling in the blanks for us? How did you get to be where you are today?

See, you got really defensive and combative about T4D's posts, which is sort of understandable, but if you were really comfortable with your situation you wouldn't have reacted that way. To be honest, it kind of took me aback. I was expecting something along the lines of "hey man, I am what I am, and if you don't like it that's your problem." Either that, or you would have answered honestly and patiently, turning the other cheek so to speak.

So basically, I'm asking if you'd like to take the opportunity to set the record straight. I promise I won't be judgmental or condescending. I just want to know how things got to this point. You can think of it as venting, you can think of it as a cautionary tale for the young dudes on here, or you can just do it because I asked nicely from a position of curiosity and concern.

That said, if you don't want to explain yourself for any reason, that's totally cool. One of the rules of The Well is that you don't have to answer any question you don't feel like answering, and you don't have to give a reason why.

Thanks.

[LesStrat]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

How did we get into a urinating contest? I understand Bill's points, but that is not the intent or the spirit of the Well.

Was it wise to completely dismiss the Captain's Log? Was he upset?

[JOLLY]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

Most excellent ratherdashing!! That's how ya do it.

[Lucid_Lunatic]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

To answer Ratherdashing:




Scroll up a little on my Neil Young responce, it's there bro.

I appreciate the way you worded things asking on how I am where I am today and not just assuming I'm a drunk bum and loser.

I'll be more than happy to clue you in on a few things, but would rather leave alot of details out and be just kinda vague on them because it's not something I like to share alot, especially details about my mother.

I am on disability because of mental issues. It could come from alot of different things, Jolly hit alot of them right on the head. My mother was an alcoholic drug addict, (she was a prescription drug addict, guess the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree, eh?) When I was born I spent the first 3 months in a hospital fighting for my life from internal bleeding and feel blessed that as far as health wise, I am healthy and not retarded like alot of other babies from drug mothers. Please don't take me wrong by saying retarded because that's the only word I can think of to describe it and I am not trying to be derogatory by using it. I have been in and out of treatment since I was around 12 years old with what some call Bi-Polar disorder, severe anxiety attacks, severe depression and just a general fear of being punished for things I have not done, (and I am talking crippling fear). I don't know if it's from things in my past that I can't get over or an actual chemical imbalance. Most likely a bit of both.

I'll start from the begining, from the time before I was old enough to remember, my mother was abusive, mentally, physically and sexually, that's about as far as I care to ellaborate on that. It carries over into my relationships today and that's why it's so hard for me to make a real relationship work. I am scared of nothing or no men, but I am scared of women that I am emmotionally attached to because of the whole trust issue and I have always felt I am helpless against them. I know that sounds weird coming from a guy who is 6'2 and would take on a grizzly bear with a hickory swtch in the woods at night, but that's just how I am and can't help it. I couldn't even go see my grandpa, who I loved dearly, before he died because I was so bruised and battered and my mom knew he would have dealt with her accordingly. That still bothers me alot that he begged to see me and she woldn't let me because of the shape she had left me in that time.
I havent talked to or seen my mother since I was about 14 and she moved to Arkansas. I did however make special arrangements with people in Hot Springs to notify me when she dies and that I want to be the one who digs her grave and burries her, morbid I know, but Ihave always felt it will bring some closure.

As a teen the 40 acres behind our place belonged to Motorcycle club. I idolized these guys growing up and they always treated me like an equal. I liked the way they lived thier own lives and didn't take anything off of anyone. They let me hang around everyday and in my young mind they were just the coolest guys ever with thier Harleys and "outlaw" kinda ways. I always thought, that's what I'm gonna be when I get older is one of these guys, they have fun, ride thier bikes and just don't care if society likes it or not. One day when I was about 14 I walked through the woods down to thier place to hang out after school and I heard somehting like a woman screaming. I got closer and saw they had a woman and was beating her with pipes and sticks, then pulled her teeth with pliers and shot her. I never went back down there or talked to those guys again, to this day I can still picture that event and it makes me sick. The ones who weren't locked up by the time I was 16 had left this part of the country and my grandpa bought the 40 acres from one of them. This is part of my land now, but I havent walked through it in years and years, just too much floods my head when I go through there.


As far as being comfortable with my situation now, I am, I can't go back and change things to have a perfect childhood. Am I comfortable with my past? NO and it bothers me a bit to really get into details, especially about my mother.

As far as T4D's post, it was a cheap shot and it really pissed me off, as it did alot of other members here and that's the reason I acted and responded as I did. He pretty much just came right out and said that I am worthless in as PC of a way as he could, and that just wasn't right.


I am not looking for anyone's sympathy, sometimes life sucks at times and you deal with it however you can. I spent over a year clean and sober and my demons haunted me to the point that I just felt like I would rather be dead than deal with it anymore. Alcohol and downers keep me leveled out and I don't obsess over things from my past when I have a buzz. It's the only times I actually feel human and happy.

Hope that clears a few things up, so now lets just drop it please.

[Lucid_Lunatic]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

How did we get into a urinating contest? I understand Bill's points, but that is not the intent or the spirit of the Well.

Was it wise to completely dismiss the Captain's Log? Was he upset?

Urinating contest? Nah, I just felt he acted really childish and didn't make anything but derogatory remarks with his questions, even if he worded them in a PC way.


Now about the Captains Log, He got over it..

[Pink Unicorn Horsey]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

Hope that clears a few things up, so now lets just drop it please.

I'm happy to let it drop, but I do want to say that's a pretty magnificent post you left right there. Really does put things in perspective.

- Keith

[ratherdashing]

Re: Somebody Dropped A Body Into The Well : The Well #36

Lucid, thank-you. That took a lot of guts to post all that. I feel like I know and understand you a lot better now, and I'm sure others feel the same way.