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Re: The Well...part next...darnright LV
I want to say something uplifting and postive, but I have to get past the woman thing first .......
You know, maybe she believed she didn't deserve your love, and maybe she was right.
Since I am older than you I will use that as an excuse to offer some unsolicited advice.
Take a few years off. Your life will not slip away while you are womanless. You already had a fiance before your divorce was final? You needed more time to heal.
A divorce, or even something like what you're experiencing right now (not much different I am sure) creates sort of an open wound emotionally. It is a wound that heals slowly and only by exposure to the elements. The next girl that comes along is like a band-aid that makes the wound feel better. You know, it doesn't hurt as much when you bump into stuff. It feels so good it must be love. The reality is that it (the band- aid) ...... that is, she (the new object of your affections) interferes with your healing by shielding you from the exposure and a little pain that might go with it that leads to true healing.
You can't bring happiness and wellness to a meaningful relationship until you are first able to experience and be those things alone. What I am suggesting is that it is OK to be alone. You might enjoy it for a while.
I will spare everyone the details of my last divorce and the events leading up to it, but I was really hurt. Now, nine years later, I couldn't be happier. I have no unforgiveness .... I still love women .... I play guitar when I want, eat when I want, sleep when I want, fold up a friggin' towel any way I please ...
Trust me ... it's not bad. Will I get married again? Yes, I will, but I don't need to get married. I don't have that need forcing me to latch on to someone that I don't know or would be better off not knowing.
I can discern from your posts that you're a good guy, Dave. Just kick back. The challenge at out age is that the single women want desperately to be in a committed relationship. Play 'em off ... just have some friends.
There are all these stages: Girls Who Are Friends, Friendgirls, Girlfriends, Fiances, Wives, and Ex-wifes. Hang with the first two steps for a while and never, under any circumstances, skip a step. Well .... if you play it right, you can skip the last step. I will next time.
I want to say something uplifting and postive, but I have to get past the woman thing first .......
You know, maybe she believed she didn't deserve your love, and maybe she was right.
Since I am older than you I will use that as an excuse to offer some unsolicited advice.
Take a few years off. Your life will not slip away while you are womanless. You already had a fiance before your divorce was final? You needed more time to heal.
A divorce, or even something like what you're experiencing right now (not much different I am sure) creates sort of an open wound emotionally. It is a wound that heals slowly and only by exposure to the elements. The next girl that comes along is like a band-aid that makes the wound feel better. You know, it doesn't hurt as much when you bump into stuff. It feels so good it must be love. The reality is that it (the band- aid) ...... that is, she (the new object of your affections) interferes with your healing by shielding you from the exposure and a little pain that might go with it that leads to true healing.
You can't bring happiness and wellness to a meaningful relationship until you are first able to experience and be those things alone. What I am suggesting is that it is OK to be alone. You might enjoy it for a while.
I will spare everyone the details of my last divorce and the events leading up to it, but I was really hurt. Now, nine years later, I couldn't be happier. I have no unforgiveness .... I still love women .... I play guitar when I want, eat when I want, sleep when I want, fold up a friggin' towel any way I please ...
Trust me ... it's not bad. Will I get married again? Yes, I will, but I don't need to get married. I don't have that need forcing me to latch on to someone that I don't know or would be better off not knowing.
I can discern from your posts that you're a good guy, Dave. Just kick back. The challenge at out age is that the single women want desperately to be in a committed relationship. Play 'em off ... just have some friends.
There are all these stages: Girls Who Are Friends, Friendgirls, Girlfriends, Fiances, Wives, and Ex-wifes. Hang with the first two steps for a while and never, under any circumstances, skip a step. Well .... if you play it right, you can skip the last step. I will next time.
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