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Thread: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

  1. #41
    Shaftologist Kam's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    How did Bluesbend lose his virginity?
    I remember calloused hands and paint-stained jeans, and I remember safe-as-houses self-belief.

  2. #42
    Sock Market Trader GuitarStv's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Question about the screen name . . . when did Blues get bent? :P
    Last edited by GuitarStv; 02-14-2011 at 01:52 PM.

  3. #43
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Quote Originally Posted by Kam View Post
    How did Bluesbend lose his virginity?
    The spring of 1974 (front) to a fat girl with one arm and 3 teeth that waited on him at the Huddle House, and again in 1978 (back) by some bass player named Bubba with rough fingers..

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnJohn View Post
    (front or back ?)

    And how many farm animals were involved ?
    Beastiality didn't become an obsession of his until the middle 80's.

    Quote Originally Posted by GuitarStv View Post
    Question about the screen name . . . when did Blues get bent? :P
    In 1978 when he lost his man hole virginity to Bubba the rough fingered bass player.

  4. #44
    Mojo's Minions misterwhizzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Does bluesbend prefer the type of woman he continually posts in every thread ever?

  5. #45
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Quote Originally Posted by misterwhizzy View Post
    Does bluesbend prefer the type of woman he continually posts in every thread ever?
    He would like to, but they are a couple of steps above his class.

  6. #46
    Braindeadologist GoldenVulture's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Has he got any sisters " with purty mouths " ?

  7. #47
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldenVulture View Post
    Has he got any sisters " with purty mouths " ?
    Not any more.

    His sister was always a chubby girl and had problems finding a man. Let's be honest, she was downright ugly. Hyenas at the zoo would eat thier babies when they saw her.

    Anyways, she had spent most of her time as a teenager and young adult surfing the web trying to learn the best ways to pleasure a man. She sent countless hours practicing with hotdogs, bananas and summer squash. The way she figured it was that she was so damm ugly, if she ever did get a man, she wanted to know how to keep him.

    After a few years of practice and huge produce bills and a couple of chronic cases of fruit flies, she started trolling local dating sites. For months she waded through spam and junk email. Bluesbends sister was becoming more depressed, and we all know nothing is sadder than a depressed fat and ugly chick.

    Bluesbend decided in order to cheer her up that he would get one of his old Air Force buddies drunk and set them up on a blind date. He arranged for both of them to meet at the local drugstore that evening. Bluesbends buddy got the directions mixed up and ended up at the wrong drugstore and was arrested for public intoxication.

    Bluesbends sister was at the right drugstore and thought the wooden cigar Indian was her date. She hasn't been able to eat apples or corn on the cob right since.............



  8. #48
    Braindeadologist GoldenVulture's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Do you think Bluesbend would like this song? He could be BluesBendOver!

  9. #49
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    ^^^^^^^^

    I'm pretty sure he doesn't speak French.

  10. #50
    GrumpyWorfologist newking70's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    finish the joke......Mr. Scorpio, pickin'n pete and hellrider77 walk into a bar.....
    Last edited by newking70; 02-14-2011 at 08:55 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gearjoneser View Post
    Put the two together, and make it Kambone.

  11. #51
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Quote Originally Posted by newking70 View Post
    finnish the joke......Mr. Scorpio, pickin'n pete and hellrider77 walk into a bar.....
    Mr. Scorpios ear starts to vibrate and he starts talking to an unseen person. After he finishes, he says that he has a phone implanted in his eardrum.

    They talk for awhile about how amazing technology is these days and one of PickinPetes eyeballs go fuzzy. Concerned the others ask if something is wrong. PickinPete explains that he has a small screen and reciever implanted into his retina and he is able to get the internet, news etc. on it.

    They talk some more about the amazing technology and comparing gadgets and what have you.

    Not to be outdone, Hellrider raises one leg and lets a ripping fart. He looks at the others and says "Excuse me gentlemen, I'm receiving a fax."

  12. #52
    Dean Hardtail Fanologist Jeff_H's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    When bluesbend orders a hooker, does he order high class or low life? Would he ever spring for the full $2500 "Girlfriend Experience"? Does he believe that the quality of hooker goes up proportionally to the amount of money required to acquire her services? Also, will he let a hooker put a feather duster in his kiester?

  13. #53
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff_H View Post
    When bluesbend orders a hooker, does he order high class or low life? Would he ever spring for the full $2500 "Girlfriend Experience"? Does he believe that the quality of hooker goes up proportionally to the amount of money required to acquire her services? Also, will he let a hooker put a feather duster in his kiester?
    Bluesbend is the reason hookers started posting signs that read "We Reserve The Right To Refuse Service To Anyone".

  14. #54
    Mojo's Minions misterwhizzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    What's bluesbend's favorite meal? And how is it prepared? Favorite drink alcoholic and non?

  15. #55
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Quote Originally Posted by misterwhizzy View Post
    What's bluesbend's favorite meal? And how is it prepared? Favorite drink alcoholic and non?
    Roasted squab, lightly breaded and salted with a side of steamed asparragus and those fruity little peas.

    Favorite alcoholic drink is a toss up between Zimas and Shirly Temples.

    Favorite non-alcoholic drink is pink lemonade.

  16. #56
    Imperator of Indignation idsnowdog's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Ever take such a big dump that your belly button goes from an outie back to an innie?

  17. #57
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Quote Originally Posted by idsnowdog View Post
    Ever take such a big dump that your belly button goes from an outie back to an innie?
    When you're as full of it as Bluesbend, it's always an outie.

  18. #58
    Dean Hardtail Fanologist Jeff_H's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Does bluesbend PREFER it in the rear end, or is it just a conditioned response.

  19. #59
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeff_H View Post
    Does bluesbend PREFER it in the rear end, or is it just a conditioned response.
    Conditioned from his Air Force days.

    When he was in jump school on his first drop, Bluesbend froze up at the door when it was his time jump. A 6'5 drill instructor, that was hung like a mule, told him that he could either make the jump or he was going to shove his rod up Bluesbends poopchute.

    After Bluesbend made it to the ground and told the story to his buddies, they asked him "Did you jump?"

    His reply was "Just a little".

  20. #60
    Braindeadologist GoldenVulture's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Well CXIII: The Wrath of bluesbend

    Is there any truth in the rumor he was " Spawned of Edith Piaf " ?

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