Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

B

BloodRose

Professional Scapegoat
For those tire of my wishy washy threads, Im sorry.. Im just trying to get myself together..

For those who arent familiar, I have a few axes, I have money problems, Im indecisive. haha

I need to thin my harum. (need money bad) And honestly, Im at the point I WANT to thin the harum. Ive grown tired of having to dig them out of storage, Im tired of changing pickups. BUT, I have a terrible time letting go. I love them all.

I also want to be able to focus my time and attention to playing as Im getting VERY frustrated with lack of progress. I know that bonding with a guitar would probably help.. Every player I know has that special guitar..

I like things about all my girls, and cannot pick a favorite out of the lot. None of them are just perfect and I dont reach for one all the time. I rotate them.
I know this is a stupid question, cuz its all about Feel, but are there any secrets to finding "the one"? Or being content? Ive been thinking about just putting them all up for sale and which ever is the last to go, will be my guitar.. Crazy or genius?

Sadly, I gravitate toward Les Pauls (type) due to the tone, but my bad back makes it hard to hold my 11 LB Burny too long.

So, I dunno.. I guess Im looking for tips on bonding, tips on avoiding GAS..( being faithful) haha

In writing this, I think I figured out half the problem. Since Im not much of a player, my guitar identity is my "collection". But Im struggling to shift to being a player cuz thats what I wanted all along and I cant afford to be a collector. But deciding what to keep is so hard.. I think if I could roll them into one, Id be set. Id have my explorer Body, with the sustain of my Burny, the volume/tone knob for each pup, Hum/S/S layout, Original Floyd with a D Tuna, and tremel-no. Mid boost from my Charvel and 5 way selector.

Thanks for reading. and humoring me. any feedback or suggestions would be appreciated..

Signed,
Broke and confused and tired of being a hack
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

Maybe you should just know which one is the one for you.

And if that is stupid because you really can't decide, I say just go with what sells last. That isn't creative or genius but it can help you bond with that specific guitar.

People always say guitars are just tools and that's fine but I hate letting them go man, maybe I'm a wimp or something but hell, guitars are something special. I care about my guitars and mine aren't even expensive. I think I could probably get $500 out of one and the rest maybe $500 for the other 3 (soon to be 4).

But I say put them all up on the trading post or ebay or whatever you do and keep the last one remaining.

It'll make you a better player too.
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

Ok, this is going to be difficult for you. It's time to let someone else decide this for you. Get the family together with all of your guitars on display. Tell them each to pick the one they want you to keep. The one with the most votes wins. Stick with that decision and sell the rest. You have to honestly stick with the decision they make, no going back later and saying "But this one, or that one..." Whichever one they pick is yours, the rest get sold. Then you can proceed to play and work on technique, tone, etc. DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT IS LEAVING, IT IS GONE. THIS IS THE TIME TO PLAY. PRETEND YOU'RE 14 AND YOU JUST GOT YOUR FIRST GUITAR.


It will be painful and some depression will set in. Use those feelings to hone your playing. DO NOT MODIFY THE CHOSEN GUITAR Getting caught up in swapping pickups/hardware/body parts on the guitar chosen to stay may seem like improvements meant to accelerate your playing, but it is, in fact, a way to avoid doing the work to improve your playing.

Let your family choose the guitar, then play the sh1t out of it.
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

you want to be a player? easy, pick the guitar that plays the best. ie most comfortable neck, best picking position, best fretwork. If you love something different about all your guitars, that must mean that they all have their own merits and you will like it for it's own character.

your easiest to play guitar is the one you should keep. sound be gosh-diddly-arned! (that's only if you're aiming to become a better player)

If it's the best sounding guitar you want (under the assumption that the best sounding will make you a better player) then, that's entirely up to your ears, and sadly, none of us can help with that one :(
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

The most versatile instrument I have found is the PRS DGT, David Grissom Tremolo.
It is the only guitar I need... I leave the Strat and Les Paul at home.
.
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

I have the same problem of guitars piling up and not knowing which one to call my number one. I realized this recently though...the one that I'm forced to use will end up being my number one even when I have other options again. For example, when I was still in school I would only bring one guitar from home (for most of my time away it was a MIM Fat Strat) and that guitar became the guitar I gravitate towards. I think it's because I've gotten to know that one so well because I was stuck with just that one.

So, in your case, use whatever method necessary to thin the herd (the family vote is clever) and then, rest assured, that last guitar will become your number one. Get to know it through and through, and play it to death.
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

i have the same issue. I have 5 electrics and one acoustic. Of the electrics, 2 are gibsons(SG and LP), then one partscaster, one Ibanez roadstar, and my first electric, a 1962 Silvertone. They all have a story, they all share a place in my life.
The Roadstar is probably the most interesting... I was about 15 and had an epiphone lp100, which at the time was the most awesome thing in the world to me. I was on stage with it and my strap broke, neck took a dive and hit the floor, breaking the neck off and most of the neck pocket. at the time, it was my only usable guitar. I had NOTHING left. A friend at the show told me he had an old guitar in peices under his bed. he said I could have it if i thought i could fix it. so the next day I went to his house and there was the roadstar, 100% disassembled in a carboard case... no pickups, pickguard was warped to the point it couldnt be used, and every electronic component was desoldered. i had NEVER done any work on a guitar outside of changing the strings. so i took the electronics from my broken epi and put them in the ibanez. once assembled, it was probably the ugliest thing on earth, and still is... but since its the ONLY working electric guitar I had for about 4 years, and it never failed me once, its payed its dues... plus i couldnt sell it because it looks as if its been through world war 3.

so, take the guitar that plays the best, use parts from your other guitars to make it sound and function the best, keep the best case, and sell/trade out the rest.
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

Been there and had to make the decision to sell for some of the very same reasons. I had 14 what I would call Pro quality guitars plus an Electro and a bass and space was an issue (3 bedroom house with 2 kids and 2 dogs - my better half was as good as gold though, she has NEVER moaned about all the gear in the house), and with the big financial squeeze I decided to sell at least half. My selection process was helped by the fact that I do gig. After much thought, I realised there were certain guitars I used as my yardstick for sound and playability, and then there's the music I play. I used to have a really hard time deciding which of my guitars (and amps)to take to gigs anyway as I loved to play them all, but there were certain ones I kept going back to... so they chose themselves really.

You may feel somewhat depressed about having to sell some, initially I thought I was going to be... especially as everything I had was paid for in cash with no credit. I have to say I'm alot happier now than I was then about my guitars and music. My playing has improved as I am more comfortable with the guitars I kept, I don't have a hard time deciding what to take to gigs, I don't have to buy as many sets of strings, not constantly thinking about pick ups and swapping things, more space in the house and I've paid off a number of debts that weren't mine. I'm still fortunate to have 5 great electrics, an electro and a bass. I have just got an Epi '65 with vibrola as a beater thats turning out to be an amazing guitar in it's own right. So good infact that I think I can cash in another of the ones I kept.

I feel your pain, but common sense will prevail. Good luck.
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

If you're broke and can't decide between your guitars, sell the ones you get the most money out of.

I don't really understand the idea of owning less guitars leading to better playing.
 
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Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

Yeah, if you don't like one any better than any other, the best thing to do would be sell the one you'll get the most money for.
Then use the money to buy another guitar! :lol:
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

As someone who just went through a severe downsizing of his guitar and amp collection I can say that the downsizing was a good thing.

I sold everything that met two criteria:

1. It was saleable and desireable.
2. I didn't love it.

If an item was saleable and I didn't love it, I sold it.

Now, except for a few things that were not saleable, everything I have I am proud to own and really get off on playing.

It feels good. I no longer feel like some greedy, spoiled hoarder.

My advice? If you don't absolutely love it, sell it. Let someone else enjoy having it and playing it.
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

As a person who has one working electric guitar (the other was my first, now worn out and out of commission), and a cheapskate one at that, I thought I'd chime in from a somewhat 'devil's advocate' angle. I've played a couple of nice guitars over the years but am not sentimental about them. My playing is going to be fundamentally the same irrespective of what I pick up, give or take some variation in timbre depending on the exact instrument. The instrument for me is a conduit, not an end in itself. It doesn't discount the fact that there are special guitars out there.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to own lots of different guitars for their idiosyncratic tonal qualities, but then I'd rarely play them - I'd just revert to my original Occam's Razor sensibilities. I used to think I'd need this or that guitar to get me to some musical nirvana, but then I got distracted by practising the music and finding out that I could play what I was aiming for anyway through the drudgery of moving them fingers. The guitar I've got didn't help me in any way - I'm the one making the noise when I pluck a string.

I think it's more of a state of mind than anything else - the notion of 'the one' is a fairly romantic whose basis in reality cannot always be founded. I think guitar culture has a strong conditioning and effect on the perception of what we want, rather than what we need - eye hungrier than stomach.

Maybe think about what you want musically for yourself rather than in terms of gear, it might help to dispose of the harem in a dispassionate manner.
 
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Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

Id have my explorer Body, with the sustain of my Burny, the volume/tone knob for each pup, Hum/S/S layout, Original Floyd with a D Tuna, and tremel-no. Mid boost from my Charvel and 5 way selector.
Click to expand...
Dude, sell 'em all but the Burny and go talk to luthier about making they guitar you want. Once it's done, sell the Burny.

There's nothing on your list that isn't doable... maybe go thru-neck for increased sustain and get stacked volume/tone pots because I'm not sure the Explorer body shape can handle 4 pots and you're set.

I'm betting you can find someone to make that guitar for less than you think.

Good luck.
MM
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

Hey, BloodRose. I read your post to my wife and she said..."Did YOU write that?"

It really could have been me writing your post. I understand the feeling that the collection of guitars can somehow compensate for our insecurities or the feelings that we just aren't as accomplished as we would like/hope to be. And yet also feeling that we have the potential if we could just concentrate our efforts to bonding and practicing.

We ARE artists, however, with feelings and emotions that rule us. We love what we do and we, most of us, really love our instruments. I've got 2 dozen and can't bear to part with any of them, although for financial reasons I really should. I have a limited edition '57 Commemorative Strat that I don't play at all (I originally bought it as an investment) that just sits in it's case in the closet. It's worth a couple thou but now I can't bring myself to part with it. It's absolutely gorgeous and feels and sounds like a dream. I have a LE LP that hangs on my wall and gets played seldom 'cause I don't want to wear it out, or scratch it or anything.

I've got 2 other LPs, 2 SGs, and a Strat that are my main go-to guitars (even that's a bit crazy...5 go-to guitars??!!), but I love and play all of the rest of my arsenal as well. They are all a bit different sounding and playing. They are all fun. They all feel good in their own ways. They are all beautiful. They are all a part of me to some extent.

My mind tells me to do one thing ("get rid of some guitars") and my heart tells me to do another ("love and caress them and keep them forever"). I certainly want and understand the wisdom of being devoted to only one lover. But variety IS very certainly the spice of life, and then some.

But sometimes, I guess, as John Wayne put it..."A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do". And I guess parting can be such sweet sorrow.

Sounds like you have to thin the herd. I feel for you man. Hope things work out for you. I have to say that you've got friends on this forum who have given you some good advice. Good luck with your dilemma. But only you can decide.
 
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Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

Hey, that's funny. I finished writing my post then clicked on the button that said "Post Quick Reply". I could see some humor in that. It wasn't what I would refer to as a "quick reply". But I couldn't find another button that said "Post Lengthy Reply".
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

Im pretty much in the same boat. I dont have the cashflow to justify a heram either, so if I feel the need to get something else or upgrade, I usually have to consolidate. I recently sold a jackson performer series and a prs copy, neither of which i was crazy about to buy a jackson dk2. the selling of the 2 paid for the new guitar almost to the penny, so i was fortunate there.

I decided I hated the floyd on the jackson performer but really like the guitar otherwise and hated the lack of upper fret access on the prs copy but liked the wider flat frettboard, so i got a jackson with nice upper fret access and no floyd and a nice wide flat frettboard.

so 3 became 2. I cant see ever having only 1 electric mainly because ill play in more than one tuning and like to have my guitars set up for the tuning, string guage/intonation etc. maybe thats why I hate floyds. I never use them and at one time my one and only electric was a floyd guitar. the pita factor for gauge and tuning changed stirred alot of ill will back then i guess.
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

Oh yea, and leaving it up to the family could be a dangerous thing. I know if i asked which ones I should sell, my wife would would without hesitation say all of them.
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

In my opinion it should be all about feel and sound... how does the guitar play, how does it sound... so here's an idea for you...

Step 1.
Play all of your guitars and rate their playability factors measuring the components that mean the most to you in playability. (ie. Weight might be a factor because of your back). Score them 1-10 and right it down.

Step 2.
Get a friend of yours that plays, have him come over. Blind fold yourself and have him in random order, go through your guitars and play similar or the same licks (clean, med and high gain) and score the guitars by the order you listened in 1-10.

Step 3. Add up the scores. Keep the one with the best overall score, if any of them tie. Do it again for those that tied.

In the end you should have only 1 left.

Just something off the top of my head, but maybe that will help you.

-J
 
Re: Finding the one? Fear of commitment?

First, Im not sure if Im comforted (I am) or saddened (I am ) that others are struggling with the same. I will say that this is the reason I posted this tho.

A) figured it may get me some good advise
B) Maybe someone else may have the same issues

thanks to you all who read my novel. Here are my thoughts thus far:

Yeah, the wife would say get rid of them all.

Immortal,
Yeah, I know I could benefit from lessons. And I know the thing I NEED most is practice. Just hard to improve playing maybe 15 min a day. Also makes lessons a waste. Ive never lost sight of practice being the key

Ball and chain,
yeah, thats what Ive done.. I dont make much money so Ive maneuvered to get where I am. Sold one or 2 and bought one, and in rare occasion, sold one and gotten 2.

Guitardoc,
Hope you find yourself too! I dont buy to compensate from Lack of skill. It started years ago. I just got married, had newborns and had to sell my gear. I had no guitar for 15 years so my connection to them during that was studying guitar stats and stuff. Then I started buying and manuevering ebay. I didnt have time to practice or was not able to practice due to disturbing sleeping family, so I shopped the net...

Mojo,
The Burny is a top contender.. I sold/selling my LP studio to keep the burny.. I wish it had jumbo frets and less weight.
Most custom builds Ive priced are $4-5000 and I cant do that.

Ashur,
You make a great point and one that is the basis of this problem. i KNOW that if I were a better player, and further in the development of "my style" and tone, I could move them easier. But much of the fear is what if I sell the one that would help me discover the style or whatever. Double edged sword..


Lew,
I already sold all that I didnt love. ones that I just thought were cool or whatever. Im currently selling my Charvel 5. Ive wanted a 5 or 6 since they first made them in the 80s and been gaga for them every since. I love having it cuz its like a dream come true and I LOVE the solid feeling and big tone, but the neck is too wide to be really comfy.. I could adapt, but it just didnt feel right when I first pick it up.. So its going...

Im selling my Gibby studio.. Its ok but doesnt feel as good as the others and its more sellable. Im REALLY struggling with my Taylor solid body.. Its my other biggest price one.. It may bring a good price.

Johtusoku,
less guitars would force me to become more familiar with the nuances of that one guitar. And would force me to create the diff sounds I seek by using my hands and not picking up a different axe. This would make me a better player.


Ive thought about this so hard over probably a year.. haha. Everytime I play is more like an evaluation than a practice. If this were my only guitar, Id be ok cuz....

Ive considered keeping my least expensive guitar, cuz the others would bring more and a "cheap" guitar would challenge me more.

Ive considered keep the Tele, cuz they are so versatile, but its neck isnt my fav of the lot.

Ive considered my squier strat, H/S/S .

It would help as someone suggested, if I could have them all and do comparisons, but they are in storage so I only get one or 2 at a time.

Vicious cycle.. Pros and cons to everyone and every arguement.. I'm starting by putting them in groups..
Gonna pick my fav LP style, My fav super strat (I have only one tele and one strat) then narrow from there. Itll also be driven by what sells too..
Should be fun...:banghead:
 
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