First track from a long-distance collaboration

[AmirH]

This the first complete-ish track from a new collaboration I started in earnest at the beginning of summer. We both played guitar on this -- the verses and slide are me, and then on the chorus and outro I did the comping work. Still not quite sure what to do with the very beginning, but I figure it'll be easier to figure out once more songs are complete and we have a sense of placement. Other than that little caveat, comments and constructive criticism welcome!
https://soundcloud.com/night-romps/uplift-demo

 

[eclecticsynergy]

Cool stuff. It has texture and personality. Seems to me you guys are evolving a sound of your own.
I like the way it's all kind of a loose pastiche through the verse section, then comes into sharp focus for the chorus.
Chorus reminds me just a bit of the band Ivy (RIP Adam Schlesinger); it's very easy to imagine a breathy female vocal over it.

Is this project intended eventually to have vocals?
Verse sections might need to be a little sparser to serve as a bed under lyrics.
But the transition from complex/slightly chaotic in the verse to simple/congruent in the chorus is very nice indeed.
I really like that.

Also liking the G Major that leads into the chorus - nicely foreshadowing the G Maj that the chorus finishes with.
I love the almost-but-not-quite-resolution of ending a part on a major II chord.

In the verse section, I found myself wanting to hear the chord progression more clearly when the slide is going off on its own.
Was going to suggest bringing up the rhythm guitars a bit in the mix, but that would take away from the slide part.
What if the bass followed the chords once the keys and slide come in, rather than playing an F through the whole section?
That would reinforce the progression without needing to change the balance.
You could use a low F note on the keyboard to maintain the same kind of pedal-point tension.

Nice work there. Please keep sharing with us as your collaboration progresses.

 

[alex1fly]

it's very easy to imagine a breathy female vocal over it.

As soon as I read this I heard it immediately. Totes 100%

 

[AmirH]

Thanks for the detailed feedback eclecticsynergy! I listened to Ivy for the first time today after reading your comment, and definitely don't mind that comparison! In answer to your question about whether the project will have vocals, I hope it's okay to say I'm not sure yet. Neither of us has ever considered singing a strong suit, and I think that's led to a lack of experience writing songs with a vocal in mind. In full transparency, I do actually have a different save of this track without the slide, and an entirely different styling on my lead part. I was able to hear some vocal ideas with the other version, and wrote a partial set of lyrics that I don't feel satisfied with, but I did intend to maybe revisit that notion at a later point. I auditioned it to my partner, and she liked it better when the delivery was quirky and a bit too high for my range -- recently discovered I can do a good bit more in lower registers than in the past, but it also kind of sounds like a bad Johnny Cash impersonation or something. Not exactly an airy female vocal haha. Anyway, when I sent the two versions along, the version with slide got voted forward, and that was easy to roll with given that adding vocals would also likely mean streamlining/shortening the song as well. I've since started two entirely different songs with a vocal focus, which should be a good opportunity to practice more and get a bit more comfortable with my own voice.

Great advice on the bass line! That makes perfect sense. This originated as a fragmentary idea I sent along with a totally different beat and almost car commercial esque lead, and then it got sent back with the chorus and outro added, including the current drum track and bass. The original guitar part didn't sound like it fit the new context, so I rewrote the verse, but it never even occurred to me to revise the bass further. I'm going to add that to our shared project notes so we can loop back to it once some of the other songs are further along.

 

[Securb]

Very cool it has a lot of cool textures to unpack. Nicely arranged and what a cool groove to it.