Olfactory Relic’ing - The Next Frontier

[ebagjones]

Alright, here’s the scenario, you got home from your job at your dentist office and just received your $8000 custom relic’ed guitar. The builder did an excellent job. This brand new guitar really looks like it’s been played in bars 300 nights a year for the last 30 years. But something seems off….

It hits you like a bolt of lightning, your nose is telling you it doesn’t match what my eyes are seeing. That’s where I come in. For a negotiated amount I will smelic your guitar. This includes me buying a case of Old Milwaukee and a carton of Kentucky’s Best, and locking myself in my small, poorly ventilated garage for 12 hours while I hotbox your guitar and drunkenly play it. As I get progressively more and more sh*tfaced, I will certainly spill beer all over it, and, at no additional cost, I will surely cause further realistic physical damage to it. Sign up today before the waiting list gets too long.

 

[beaubrummels]

No thanks. I don't pay for skills I already have.

 

[LLL]

Don't forget the Marlboros...

 

[LLL]

Alright, here’s the scenario, you got home from your job at your dentist office and just received your $8000 custom relic’ed guitar. The builder did an excellent job. This brand new guitar really looks like it’s been played in bars 300 nights a year for the last 30 years. But something seems off….

It hits you like a bolt of lightning, your nose is telling you it doesn’t match what my eyes are seeing. That’s where I come in. For a negotiated amount I will smelic your guitar. This includes me buying a case of Old Milwaukee and a carton of Kentucky’s Best, and locking myself in my small, poorly ventilated garage for 12 hours while I hotbox your guitar and drunkenly play it. As I get progressively more and more sh*tfaced, I will certainly spill beer all over it, and, at no additional cost, I will surely cause further realistic physical damage to it. Sign up today before the waiting list gets too long.

I like this - you are a true entrepreneur.

 

[LLL]

For a negotiated amount I will smelic your guitar.

Everybody missed this - "smelic".

Guitar Smelicing.

 

[solspirit]

disassemble it and let it soak up a shot of rum & 1/4 pint of beer, then stick it in the clothes hamper for a few months, then hang it over an ashtray for another month or so. . . All set

 

[Aceman]

Ironic...Here is my story.

So I own one of these (#16). Extremely close to your description:

We were talking about "that New Gibson smell" that we were expecting. When the day arrived, we pulled it from the case, and had the grand reveal right there in the shop, and were going to plug it into a Marshall Silver Jubilee head. The other guy looking at it said "That thing is pristinely damaged." And that was the perfect quote. You have top see it up close to really appreciate the extent to which it was jacked-up on purpose. That said - played and sounded perfect.

However - the first thing we noticed after our eyes recovered, was that it did NOT have that "New Gibson" smell about it. So, while it didn't smell like beer and vodka, with white powder in the nooks and crannies, it clearly had a different smell about it.

 

[Bogner]

. For a negotiated amount I will smelic your guitar.

I see what you did there. You need to take this business to The Gear Page. That crowd will make you a Crypto Millionaire in no time.

 

[Demanic]

I think that you're leaving out some essential scents that you might need outside assistance in providing.

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