Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

[ericmeyer4]

This is a clip of the new song I am working on. Main chord progression and a bit of the melody. I need to make it more vocal like.

Keep in mind this is a rough copy, I haven't messed with the levels too much and the playing is a little sloppy.

Thoughts/Opinions? Improvements? The guitar is sounding a little blah. I think some more reverb and a little chorus will help.

lo-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6576906&q=lo
hi-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6576906&q=hi

 

[ericmeyer4]

Re: Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

Version 2:

Once I get it completely written I will go back and rerecord everything and fix all of the levels, tones, etc.

I need to work on the bridge. It comes in at 2:50. I'm still trying to get it to fit with the song. Any suggestions?

I might also edit it for time a bit. At 4:20 its a bit long.

lo-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6578828&q=lo
hi-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6578828&q=hi

 

[Diocletian]

Re: Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

Not my thing, I'm not much a Floyd fan which this seems to be like, but with that in mind I thought it was good.
I don't like the "drum" sound at ALL. But other than that, it's okay. Although....the guitar, especially for the leads (listen around 1:40), sounds a little out of tune to me...?

As a rough demo, I think it's great. It's the kind of thing I would enjoy falling asleep to with some headphones, and I DO mean that as a compliment!

 

[DankStar]

Re: Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

cool vibe. a loud reverby snare might add a phil collins feel, if you're into that sort of thing.

 

[ericmeyer4]

Re: Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

Not my thing, I'm not much a Floyd fan which this seems to be like, but with that in mind I thought it was good.
I don't like the "drum" sound at ALL. But other than that, it's okay. Although....the guitar, especially for the leads (listen around 1:40), sounds a little out of tune to me...?

As a rough demo, I think it's great. It's the kind of thing I would enjoy falling asleep to with some headphones, and I DO mean that as a compliment!

Yeah its out of tune. My playing was not spot on at all. I was trying a different tone and recorded the lick real quick. Everything will get redone, polished, etc.

cool vibe. a loud reverby snare might add a phil collins feel, if you're into that sort of thing.

I am into that kind of thing lol. Not much you can do with midi drums so might as well accentuate their fakness.

 

[JustWendell]

Re: Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

keep on it, as said earlier there is a great vibe to this. love the crickets

 

[Markk]

Re: Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

keep on it, as said earlier there is a great vibe to this. love the crickets

Is that the wooshing sound? Man, that got annoying really quickly. I'd turn that down a notch. OTher than that, it's a nice slow song.

 

[wickedmartini]

Re: Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

I agree with a few points that were made. The ambient sound eventually overpowers everything. I think you could do better as far as your percussion tone goes. I would like to hear the background chords be a little cleaner. There's a slight fuzz \ distortion to them. The guitar in general in getting a bit lost and is a little flat. I like the concept though. It has potential.

 

[ericmeyer4]

Re: Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

Yeah everything needs rerecorded, tuned, the levels adjusted. Its just the rough draft at the moment.

I'm more curious on how all of the parts fit together?

I'll keep whats been said in mind when I start recording the final version of the song. There have been some good points I don't want to pass them up later. THanks,

 

[ericmeyer4]

Re: Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

Its getting closer.

Crickets Rough Demo 4
lo-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6586391&q=lo
hi-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=6586391&q=hi

I rerecorded all of the parts, worked on the levels, removed most of the ambient noises. I think I am going to record the slide parts again (combo of brass slide and tele lead pup is not grabbing me). I think I am going to edit it for time too. 4:15 seems a bit long when not much stuff happens in the song, but idk.

 

[Guest]

Re: Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

Sounds great to me! Really nice, quality wise that is...

But I think it needs variation. I mean, it would work as a track on a 12 track Pink Floyd album but as a single track that you hear on it's own it's too monotonous. Especially the drums need to change somewhere in there. And then it needs some melody lines guitars if not vocals in places.

You've done great work though! But it needs something more, especially when it's like a single track. If you are planning on including it on a album then it's a little different of course.

 

[missionamps]

Like Some Feedback: With respect to rhythm

Like Some Feedback: With respect to rhythm

Eric do you have any decent drummer friends nearby who can come over and punch it up?
Because it always sounds so negative, I think it is really difficult to critique someone else's work at this early stage and the dreamy concept is good but it seems like some musical articulation feel is also missing.

Dropping all the annoying background noises and swooshing was really a good idea!
Ouch... I couldn't even listen to the whole thing the first time around.

I might be in the minority here but I think getting rid of about +90% of the cricket background sounds are the next step. A bit too gimmicky for me.
Well, maybe at least roll those out most of the time.
I guess you could use it as an effect feature in the intro, prelude, an interlude, or in closing.
It really doesn't work for me, but if you really need more of it, mix it in occasionally.

The 1, 3 bass drum ostinato beat with 2, 4 sidestick/slapstick is actually dragging it down because it has no feel, is not live and leaves too big of a hole.
The other downside is that the machine sound is probably right on the button with tempo while your playing is more legato (or maybe portato) and with feeling, mixed with quite a bit of your solid eight note dynamic riff rhythms... you know:
the .... 1 & 2 & 3 & 4 & back to one 1 ....
A softer wet ride cymbal can help pull that together but it would be laid back and swimming on 2&3 4&1.. or maybe 2&ah3 4&ah1
The basic rhythm of the composition, after the overly long intro, feels like it wants to break into a a dotted eighth note, loose legato every other bar.
That is a tension that either needs to be or not to be....
I think I would like it better if it did have a little swinging tension in it.
I'd at least try mixing it up a little.
And what did you have in mind with the short heavy guitar section that left me me thinking, HUH?
That would OK to kick it in the ass with some other instrumentation and could really lift it to a powerful conclusion.
**********************
Eric,
I just got back from a late lunch with my wife and listened to your last go on the piece.
I've decided you should go listen to the first opening verse and vocals of Wing's' 'Band on the Run".
That is a little more like I'd recompose this, or move into, after your intro (which still sounds twice as long as it really needs to be because you said it all the first time and my ears are telling me there needs to be a change sooner)...

 

[ericmeyer4]

Re: Working On A New Tune- Like Some Feedback

I've taken a slight break from working on this to refresh my head. It defiantly needs some lead lines and I really need to work on the drums. Thanks for the tips I will be putting them to use tomorrow when I work on this.

Thanks,
Eric