New song, with vocals!

[Diocletian]

I've been in aband recently and the bass player had an idea for a bass intro. I took that, modified it a bit and came up with this song. The lyrics can be found on the page, I sang them, my first time ever singing and I had to do it too high pitched so next time I'm gonna tune down to either Eb or D if I'll be singing. These ones are way too whiny, but it was a first attempt.
Let me know what you think! It's the song called "Even Death May Die".

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=920513&content=music

The other new ones (to you guys anyway) there are "SwitchBlade" which I wrote based around a jangly guitar intro the rythm guitarist in that last band had come up with, I'll be having new lyrics for that soon and will have another go at singing.
"Darkness" was supposed to be a monstrous riff of the kind The Darkness had on their first album.

[DankStar]

Re: New song, with vocals!

I'll have to re-listen at home; something's not sounding right at the moment; like it's breaking up or under water - probably my dumb laptop.

[daemon barbeque]

Re: New song, with vocals!

too strong guitars ,too distand vocals ,clipping/popping sounds..
The song would be cool withtout those problems tho.
BTW ,you might sing with your chin a tad higher ,and open your voice path. You sound too "unsafe" . When you double your rythm path ,you need to be tighter too hehe.

Too many critiques ,sorry .. Just want to help

I like the lead part.

[Diocletian]

Re: New song, with vocals!

too strong guitars ,too distand vocals ,clipping/popping sounds..
The song would be cool withtout those problems tho.
BTW ,you might sing with your chin a tad higher ,and open your voice path. You sound too "unsafe" . When you double your rythm path ,you need to be tighter too hehe.

Too many critiques ,sorry .. Just want to help

Of course, I'm glad of the help!
The vocals were done at home, and to be honest, I was quite embarrassed doing them, I was worried the neighbours would hear me and inevitably ended up singing them a lot quieter than I would have ideally liked.
The popping sounds seem to be an inherent problem of the Toneport software - it's always an issue when I record clean stuff. It's a pain in the backside but I don't seem to be able to do anything about it.

Thanks for the points though, I'll take it all on board (especially the part about being tighter in the guitars, that's something I can easily sort!)

EDIT: I've edited the mix a wee bit to bring the guitars down and the vocals up.
When I get time I'll redo the rythm guitar parts.

[daemon barbeque]

Re: New song, with vocals!

it sounds like a bitrate/frequency problem. I dunno how good your comp. is ,but you have to check the hardware settings.

You really have to sing with a "singing" voice to get the feeling. It's hard to control the voice without enough air. Only extreme good singers can do magic with little air. But they are really rare bunch.
I dig the Bass mix .It sounds cool!

[DankStar]

Re: New song, with vocals!

ah, sounds better on my home computer. dig how the different guitars play off each other/intertwine.

[Jet-Jaguar]

Re: New song, with vocals!

I like switchblade. The intro/outro kinda reminds me of the type of music played on alternative stations in the 80s.

[everdrone]

Re: New song, with vocals!

"Even Death May Die" - I cant hear it dude, let me know when its up

[super rad stuff]

Re: New song, with vocals!

sounds pretty cool*as usual*, though i agree with daemon

btw, i've got those popping problems with my toneport too! although, it the pops aren't as apparent, it creates little gaps and screws with my timing.

[Diocletian]

Re: New song, with vocals!

Thanks guys! Everdrone, it's still up, I checked. ?

I'm going to redo it from scratch, but tuned to Eb this time so I can sing a bit lower. The pops and drop outs are a pain but it won't have helped that the microphone I used was from Poundland (in other words, it cost me £1 brand new!) .

[ex-250]

Re: New song, with vocals!

I was worried the neighbours would hear me and inevitably ended up singing them a lot quieter than I would have ideally liked.

since moving into this apartment, i have that problem all the time. the walls are really thin, and my vocals always turn out worse than usual when i try to do em here because im quieter.

solution? recording vocals in the car. i have one of those tapes with the audio jack attached to it, so i just plug that into my laptop and do vocals in the car. turned out awesome.

[Diocletian]

Re: New song, with vocals!

That sounds like a good idea, cos I normally scream like a banshee in the car!

I live in a semi detached house, and the walls are pretty thick, but since it was my first attempt, I was very self concious of what I was doing and inevitably ended up singing them quieter than I wanted.

[everdrone]

Re: New song, with vocals!

I tried another song, same problem, like its on a 4 track tape and the tape is getting eaten up - not microphone probs but something else. Ive never experienced hearing this before so I cant tell you much more about the mp3s you uploaded. Seems like I may be the odd one out though maybe my computer or somethin, cause you got some stellar feedback above. Glad your having fun with your band and doing more recordingz, I can hear some of the singing - keep it up.

[Diocletian]

Re: New song, with vocals!

Thanks mate. I'm not in the band any more though, they had a discussion (behind my back) and decided I was taking them too far in a metal direction. They want to do stuff like Shinedown (who?) and Nickelback which I simply can't write like. So, although I was the one who wrote four songs for them in as many weeks after they hadn't come up with one in about 6 months, I decided to leave their band.

[rashayritto]

Re: New song, with vocals!

Thanks mate. I'm not in the band any more though, they had a discussion (behind my back) and decided I was taking them too far in a metal direction. They want to do stuff like Shinedown (who?) and Nickelback which I simply can't write like. So, although I was the one who wrote four songs for them in as many weeks after they hadn't come up with one in about 6 months, I decided to leave their band.

shinedown!? nickelback!? consider yourself lucky for getting out! they clearly just want to ride the radio bandwagon like 99% of rock bands lately.

i will give the song a listen now and post feedback