I'm a lifelong underachiever and never had any confidence in myself. Growing up all I ever heard was that one has to have "special talents" to play music, "I have no ear for music" (as if hearing intervals is wasnt a trainable skill) and my favorite among all "noone in your family was a musician, why would you be able to do it then"... So despite having made IMMENSE progress in the last couple of years, I still have that kneejerk reaction to look at my work through that lens I was given as a kid. At school they made us believe that musicians are a special elite that you have to be born into to be a part of it. All this in the homeland of Bart�k, Liszt and Kod�ly, the latter having a complete and worldwide respected method of teching music to kids...
When I first joined this forum, I was so insecure about my playing that I couldn't imagine having it posted here. I still see more bad than good, still am pretty insecure (hence the short selling) but at least I am not shaking to the core by the though of others seeing me play.
Getting compliments feels good, of course (and I thank you for that!!!). But learning to handle the "noise" (if there is any) and being able to learn from critique instead of feeling butthurt is even more awesome. And exposing myself like this helps with that
I totally get the camera roling part... I've been playing it for two days after having completed the idea when I decided to do the vid. Only my sleeping cat was around and as soon as I hit the record button, I forgot everything. Needed to play for 15 minutes straight to get a take I accepted and we're talking about 35 seconds... LOL
