Could use direction help on this new tune

[cream123]

so far its just a verse, but I'm not sure where to go next...

any critique on the current stuff is more than welcome

Link

 

[gilaltom3]

Re: Could use direction help on this new tune

Digging the lyrics and the music. The to voices need lined up IMO. What do you mean by "direction"?

 

[cream123]

Re: Could use direction help on this new tune

I can't figure out where to go next...

 

[El Dunco]

Re: Could use direction help on this new tune

I think an Alice In Chains style vocal harmony (see, No Excuses) would work really well with this. I would keep it fairly simply in terms of formula but give it a bridge that is particularly wrenching. That's what came to mind for me at least. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks.

 

[Kam]

Re: Could use direction help on this new tune

More cowbell.

 

[cream123]

Re: Could use direction help on this new tune

thanks ya'll, wrote some more....post later

 

[karpathion]

Re: Could use direction help on this new tune

Only thing I can think is, take a little reverb off of the vocals. They mush up pretty hard.
Maybe not seperate the tracks so much?