Hamer Warning

[HamerPlyr]

Alright, do as I say, not as I do.

It's kinda like cigarettes. I know that I would be better off without them, but I don't want to stop. I simply can't break their control over me. There's only one thing that science has identified that is more addictive than nicotine, and it's Hamer. Please listen to me, I'm only trying to help. t's too late for me, but there's still hope for you.

Let's review what playing a Hamer will do to you. It will give you genital warts. It will make you think that you are playing like a guitar god when you are only playing like a guitar overlord. It will give you simple chronic halitosis. It will cause hair loss in men and birth defects in children of women who play them. It will shrink your "manhood" and potentially cause radical mood-swings. Fortunately, that last one didn't happen to me...lol

If you spot these things for sale, run for your life and contact the proper authorities. Unless they're used, that is. Leave alone those guys who are trying to sell them used as they are just trying to break the vicious cycle.

I hope that this has been of some help to you. If I can save just one person, then that will be a pretty crappy average. Hey, at least I gave it a shot...

 

[danglybanger]

Re: Hamer Warning

Alright, do as I say, not as I do.

Let's review what playing a Hamer will do to you. It will give you genital warts. It will make you think that you are playing like a guitar god when you are only playing like a guitar overlord. It will give you simple chronic halitosis. It will cause hair loss in men and birth defects in children of women who play them. It will shrink your "manhood" and potentially cause radical mood-swings. Fortunately, that last one didn't happen to me...lol

Seeing as I already got all of the above... (except for my manhood, which I find I must shrink in order to anatomically mesh with most women)

...should I play Hamer?

 

[Benjy_26]

Re: Hamer Warning

I would just like to add that it has been conclusively proven that by NOT owning a Hamer, or attempting to purchase a Hamer, one's chances of getting laid climb exponentialy. :naughty:


Remember kids: Freinds don't let friends buy Hamers. :burnout:

 

[HamerPlyr]

Re: Hamer Warning

Seeing as I already got all of the above... (except for my manhood, which I find I must shrink in order to anatomically mesh with most women)

...should I play Hamer?

You know that I like you and care about your well-being, young Slade. I would suggest that you avoid it at all costs.

Aside from all of the other stuff, they just aren't as quality as everyone would lead you to believe. You just think that they are great every time that you play one. It's all one big Jedi mind trick being played on all of us by corporate America. Bastards!

 

[HamerPlyr]

Re: Hamer Warning

I would just like to add that it has been conclusively proven that by NOT owning a Hamer, or attempting to purchase a Hamer, one's chances of getting laid climb exponentialy. :naughty:


Remember kids: Freinds don't let friends buy Hamers. :burnout:

I think that I just developed a man-crush for Benjy...lol

 

[TheProphet]

Re: Hamer Warning

Uhh Hamerpl ... I mean Rob *cough* ... you're forgetting the homeless aspect. One Hamer it's ok (mad partner), Two Hamers is serious (angry wife), 3 Hamers and you're out of there (rats in the box for company)

 

[HamerPlyr]

Re: Hamer Warning

I only have 2 Hamers. Right now, that is...

You see? It's a freakin' sickness that you don't want. Trust me. Go buy a Jackson Dinky or something, you'll be better off.

 

[Xeromus]

Re: Hamer Warning

I think that I just developed a man-crush for Benjy...lol

Am I to assume that Hamers also cause spontaneous homosexuality?

 

[Jeffrec]

Re: Hamer Warning

Too late :laugh2:

p.s. no signs of genital warts and the women have always been very satisfied with the "manhood" thing: frequently enjoying multiple rides :smoker:

 

[theodie]

Re: Hamer Warning

Am I to assume that Hamers also cause spontaneous homosexuality?

:laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:

They also make you want to buy 55 gallon drums of anal lube!!!!! :laugh2: :laugh2: :laugh2:

 

[Benjy_26]

Re: Hamer Warning

Whoa there, gents. A "man-crush" does not imply homosexuality. Just like being "man-pretty" does not make one automaticaly effeminate.

Although I have bought industrial quantities of Vaseline before. :burnout:

 

[Lewguitar]

Re: Hamer Warning

I love Hamers. I'm thinking of moving to Taos, New Mexixo, opening up a small guitar shop and seeing if I can get the Hamer line.

Lew

 

[Benjy_26]

Re: Hamer Warning

I love Hamers. I'm thinking of moving to Taos, New Mexixo, opening up a small guitar shop and seeing if I can get the Hamer line.

Lew

If you do that, Lew, I will be eternally grateful.

You will be the closest Hamer dealer to where I am. I will gladly make the drive.

 

[rinse_master]

Re: Hamer Warning

It will make you think that you are playing like a guitar god when you are only playing like a guitar overlord.

:chairfall

 

[mrfjones]

Re: Hamer Warning

this whole tread is great. thanks HamerPlyer

Lew that would be great, i would have to come out for a visit. I would love to get my hands on a hamer 335 style guitar. i will of course use the proper protection so as not to lose my manhood or suffer some other terrible fate.

 

[rspst14]

Re: Hamer Warning

some Hamer pr0n to feed the addiction :smoker:

 

[Curly]

Re: Hamer Warning

yes, just say "NO!"

 

[That90'sGuy]

Re: Hamer Warning

some Hamer pr0n to feed the addiction :smoker:

Ewww.... check out the wood chipped along the binding, TAKE IT BACK! :thumbsdow

(good job... keep it up )

 

[rspst14]

Re: Hamer Warning

Ewww.... check out the wood chipped along the binding, TAKE IT BACK! :thumbsdow

(good job... keep it up )

Yeah, it was "pre-reliced" by the previous owner. It's not chipped, the finish is just worn off where your forearm would rest while playing. Other than that little spot, it's in remarkably good condition for an 11 year old guitar that has been well-played during it's life.

Oh yeah, I got a real good deal on it too. :13:

Ryan

 

[Kosh Naranek]

Re: Hamer Warning

Is that why my hair's getting so thin? Very accurate list of symptoms, Hamer Plyr. I pretty much have all of them.
http://mypeoplepc.com/members/thardawg/robonline/