Pink Unicorn Horsey
Megä Pöny Rÿdr
Re: kinda bummed.
I'm serious. Freakin' move on. How old are the kids?
I'm serious. Freakin' move on. How old are the kids?
kinda bummed.
- Thread starter BloodRose
- Start date
scottish
WeirdScienceologist
Re: kinda bummed.
im sure you have tried already, but sit down and have a serious talk. Suggest some kind of couples counseling to help work out a compromise. If she isnt even open to that idea then its sounds like you have some serious problems ie. the only time you will ever be happy is when your train of thought matches with hers. If you think differently from her, it sounds like she is going to give it to you until you give in. This is not healthy. Im not going to suggest divorce or anything crazy, but if her idea of a marriage is "Im right and whatever i say goes", then you arent ever going to be happy or have a healthy relationship.
If music is the only thing she behaves like this on then you should be able to find some way to work it out, hopefully.
im sure you have tried already, but sit down and have a serious talk. Suggest some kind of couples counseling to help work out a compromise. If she isnt even open to that idea then its sounds like you have some serious problems ie. the only time you will ever be happy is when your train of thought matches with hers. If you think differently from her, it sounds like she is going to give it to you until you give in. This is not healthy. Im not going to suggest divorce or anything crazy, but if her idea of a marriage is "Im right and whatever i say goes", then you arent ever going to be happy or have a healthy relationship.
If music is the only thing she behaves like this on then you should be able to find some way to work it out, hopefully.
ImmortalSix
John Mayer's Mankini
everdrone
New member
Re: kinda bummed.
+1
get marital counseling. your wife shouldnt be trying to stand between you and what you love, even if its 15 years later. its like taking the remote away from a husband that loves watching football with his buddies and banning him from playing football in a league on the weekend!!!
+1
get marital counseling. your wife shouldnt be trying to stand between you and what you love, even if its 15 years later. its like taking the remote away from a husband that loves watching football with his buddies and banning him from playing football in a league on the weekend!!!
Re: kinda bummed.
19,18,14,12,10. The oldest 2 have moved out to get away..
19,18,14,12,10. The oldest 2 have moved out to get away..
Re: kinda bummed.
Ive talked till Im outta wind.. she just turns things around.. she is a professional arguer.
Ive talked till Im outta wind.. she just turns things around.. she is a professional arguer.
Re: kinda bummed.
its coming.. I filed a few years ago. for years she had been threatening to div me and saying how miserable I make. So, I filed and moved all my stuff out. She came to my work crying all upset that how could I do that to her and my kids?? Take her back, itll be better.. I owe it to kids.. blah blah..
So, I did.. was better for about 2 weeks.
She told my oldest daughter, "how could I do that to them and all". My daughter told her , " he just beat you to the punch." you said thats what you wanted for years.." I loved that...
its coming.. I filed a few years ago. for years she had been threatening to div me and saying how miserable I make. So, I filed and moved all my stuff out. She came to my work crying all upset that how could I do that to her and my kids?? Take her back, itll be better.. I owe it to kids.. blah blah..
So, I did.. was better for about 2 weeks.
She told my oldest daughter, "how could I do that to them and all". My daughter told her , " he just beat you to the punch." you said thats what you wanted for years.." I loved that...
Frantic_Rock
FragleRockologist
Re: kinda bummed.
My mom and dad have been divorced when i was small (10 or so). And things were heated for a while. Now they are back together after the age of 54 and living more-or-less happily together. However, when I am at the house - sometimes they argue so badly - my mom is mentioning divorce, and my dad is constantly picking on my mom - it's really bad. All i know is it is not always black and white. For some couples it can be very very EXTRA hard. So maybe you can consult, if not a counselor, then a person who you really respect and admire, and see what they say....
My mom and dad have been divorced when i was small (10 or so). And things were heated for a while. Now they are back together after the age of 54 and living more-or-less happily together. However, when I am at the house - sometimes they argue so badly - my mom is mentioning divorce, and my dad is constantly picking on my mom - it's really bad. All i know is it is not always black and white. For some couples it can be very very EXTRA hard. So maybe you can consult, if not a counselor, then a person who you really respect and admire, and see what they say....
Tor
Riffologist Extraordinaire
Re: kinda bummed.
No.
She's a mental abuser.
BloodRose, I feel so sorry for reading your posts in this thread. Your wife may have many good sides, but this part is cutting things right down to the core - as someone else said, she needs to respect the whole you. Marriage is all about to give and take, but it sounds like she's all about taking. You don't deserve that!
Please figure this out, the two of you, for your own sake. Can you see this kind of life going on 10 years from now on?
No.
She's a mental abuser.
BloodRose, I feel so sorry for reading your posts in this thread. Your wife may have many good sides, but this part is cutting things right down to the core - as someone else said, she needs to respect the whole you. Marriage is all about to give and take, but it sounds like she's all about taking. You don't deserve that!
Please figure this out, the two of you, for your own sake. Can you see this kind of life going on 10 years from now on?
JOLLY
Super Simonologist
Re: kinda bummed.
You should change your username to Sperminator.
You should change your username to Sperminator.
Re: kinda bummed.
LOL!!!!!!!
people always say, you have 5 kids, you must go at it all the time.. Im like, no means we have 5 times in 20 years...
LOL!!!!!!!
people always say, you have 5 kids, you must go at it all the time.. Im like, no means we have 5 times in 20 years...
Re: kinda bummed.
Id just explain that there is always risk. In a car, crossing the street etc..
Just assure her that you have no plan of dying and just cuz you ride a bike doesnt guarantee it will happen..
And explain to her that you always ride cautiously (assuming you do.. wink wink) and that you do all you can to prevent anything from happening..
Id just explain that there is always risk. In a car, crossing the street etc..
Just assure her that you have no plan of dying and just cuz you ride a bike doesnt guarantee it will happen..
And explain to her that you always ride cautiously (assuming you do.. wink wink) and that you do all you can to prevent anything from happening..
Re: kinda bummed.
that reminds me of another story.. One day, when Kiss first got back together with orig members and makeup. I had always wanted to see them so I got a ticket. Of course, the wife was opposed. so as Im leaving, we are arguing and since I wasnt giving in, things got ugly.. My kids were at my feet to hug me goodbye since I was leaving and they are like, "where are you going daddy?" And mother chimes in and says, "your daddy is going to hang out with and worship satan!!" So naturally, the kids are mortified and start to cry and beg me not to go... fun times..
that reminds me of another story.. One day, when Kiss first got back together with orig members and makeup. I had always wanted to see them so I got a ticket. Of course, the wife was opposed. so as Im leaving, we are arguing and since I wasnt giving in, things got ugly.. My kids were at my feet to hug me goodbye since I was leaving and they are like, "where are you going daddy?" And mother chimes in and says, "your daddy is going to hang out with and worship satan!!" So naturally, the kids are mortified and start to cry and beg me not to go... fun times..
Re: kinda bummed.
That's terrible!
Seriously BloodRose, listen to the other forum bros: You should try marriage counseling. A relationship is supposed to be a happy compromise for both people in it. One person should not be beaten into submission by the other. Even if it's just verbal, it is "abuse". You shouldn't have to tolerate it.
Best of luck to you!
That's terrible!
Seriously BloodRose, listen to the other forum bros: You should try marriage counseling. A relationship is supposed to be a happy compromise for both people in it. One person should not be beaten into submission by the other. Even if it's just verbal, it is "abuse". You shouldn't have to tolerate it.
Best of luck to you!
Tor
Riffologist Extraordinaire
ratherdashing
Kablamminator
Re: kinda bummed.
Screw marriage counselling. If this marriage is as bad as he is making it out to be, he should be contacting a divorce lawyer.
Sorry for being blunt. I've seen some abusive relationships in my life, and this one ranks pretty high up there. Her controlling mind games are despicable.
I, for one, could never stay married to anyone who didn't respect my needs and desires, especially music.
Screw marriage counselling. If this marriage is as bad as he is making it out to be, he should be contacting a divorce lawyer.
Sorry for being blunt. I've seen some abusive relationships in my life, and this one ranks pretty high up there. Her controlling mind games are despicable.
I, for one, could never stay married to anyone who didn't respect my needs and desires, especially music.
Re: kinda bummed.
Man, I am appreciating my wife a lot more after reading this thread...with the time and money I put into guitar even though I'm really not very good I'm lucky that she puts up with it!
I personally think you should at least try counseling before divorce but if things are half as bad as they sound I feel really bad for you man. We all say things we don't mean in the heat of passion but those things she's saying to you are really despicable. One of the worst things you can say to a man is how talentless he is at something he's passionate about.
Its really hard for me to imagine a situation as bad as what you're describing...of course wives hate having man stuff lying around (guitars, electronics, etc) but like everyone else has said, there's got to be some compromise. You put stuff away if you don't use it very often, she lets you keep a guitar out somewhere if you play semi-regularly...it just is a part of being married.
Good luck man, keep your head held high!
Man, I am appreciating my wife a lot more after reading this thread...with the time and money I put into guitar even though I'm really not very good I'm lucky that she puts up with it!
I personally think you should at least try counseling before divorce but if things are half as bad as they sound I feel really bad for you man. We all say things we don't mean in the heat of passion but those things she's saying to you are really despicable. One of the worst things you can say to a man is how talentless he is at something he's passionate about.
Its really hard for me to imagine a situation as bad as what you're describing...of course wives hate having man stuff lying around (guitars, electronics, etc) but like everyone else has said, there's got to be some compromise. You put stuff away if you don't use it very often, she lets you keep a guitar out somewhere if you play semi-regularly...it just is a part of being married.
Good luck man, keep your head held high!
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