Re: Picking and fretting speed
I'm not sure there's a "normal" proficiency of one hand -- say, the fretting hand -- over the other. Like you, my friend is much better with his fretting hand than he is with his picking hand. I, on the other hand, have an easier time with my picking hand and more trouble with the fretting hand. In my opinion a guitarist should strive to have equally good proficiency with each hand. Professional body builders seek symmetry in their body and would never accept having, for example, larger biceps on the right arm than on the left arm. Similarly, a professional basketball player should be able to dribble and manipulate the ball just as easily with either hand.
Regarding your question about hammer-ons and pull-offs (legato phrasing) vs. individually picked notes, it's all a matter of what you'd like to achieve with your particular sound and style. EVH uses lots of legato phrasing, which sounds very cool to my ears. Of course when I hear someone like George Lynch play a phrase in which each note is picked at high speed I'm quite impressed. Again, the ideal guitarist is able to take advantage of both techniques so that how he/she plays is dependent upon the desired sound rather than the ability to perform one and not the other. It's always better to have more tools in the toolbox.
- Keith