Pretty funny Harmony Central review

[Scott_F]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

I still think that guy is pretty funny and I also think he's doing a parody. HE MEANS TO BE FUNNY!

If any of you think he's a 14 year old kid and he's writing this review, being serious, I think you're way off. Waaaaaaaaaaaay Off.

Just my two cents.

 

[Scott_F]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

Someone find his 5150 review and we'll stick this in The Vault. It's classic.

 

[shreder75]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

oh my GOD...that's undeniably the most hyterical diatribe I've ever read...my new band, slutbanger...holy **** that's good stuff...lmao..

and by the way..Powerslave is better than 7th son, even though I love 7th son =)

 

[HarrisonDavid]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

LOL!! Found it.... Please don't ban me for this admins... Its not my doing

Price Paid: US $2000
Purchased from: N/A
Jam Masterz Axes n' Amps

Features: 10
All right, **** is just getting out of hand here. People keep e-mailing me wanting to know all about my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V. Like I don't have anything better to do than sit here and write reviews? **** that. When I'm not pulling double shifts at Walgreens, I'm spending my time the way any true rocker knows how -- banging HEADS and banging SLUTS, with some quality brew time with my good buddy Dino on the side. Whether it's shredding out with my new band SLUTBANGER, or my side project LETHALICON, I always keep the intense metal mayhem BURNING like the crotch of a Vietnamese whore. You know what I'm talking about.


Anyways, I'm not going to tell you all that technical bull**** that you don't want to hear. All that **** about double-locking tremoloes, humbuckers, strings, and all the stuff that dudes who liked Slayer's "Diabolus In Musica" better than "South of Heaven" probably care about. If you don't own "South of Heaven," then give me call so I can come over and beat you senseless with my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, because you're about as metal as that kid whose ass I stomped at the last Insatanity show because he asked me if i liked the latest GORETICIAN disc. On the other hand, if you didn't know that "South of Heaven" is a Slayer album, then you should probably call your mom or whoever it is that kept your crib too close to the microwave and thanks them for ****ing up your BRAIN so much that you're totally ignorant of the most savagely INTENSE metal album since Blizzard of Ozz.


As for my Signature - you bet your ass - SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, it used to be all polka dot and ****, but Dino hooked me up with this wicked artist named Arturo who works down in Romeoville. He did a sweet-ass painting of a wolf pack hunting at night. Even though I had to stop playing with Rabid Wolf after that ****head Jimmy actually asked me to turn it DOWN one day at practice, probably because he's what we true metal maniacs like to call "a ***** assed bitch," it's still a killer wicked paint job that I'm gonna match on my Camaro hood once I finish up my neighbor's lawn.

Sad thing is that dude was probably real!!! Mullet and all I bet! :smack:

 

[Luke Duke]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

oh my GOD...that's undeniably the most hyterical diatribe I've ever read...my new band, slutbanger...holy **** that's good stuff...lmao..

and by the way..Powerslave is better than 7th son, even though I love 7th son =)

Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner is hard to beat.

 

[HarrisonDavid]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

O.k Finished reading the whole thing.....Really funny but now I think it's just a joke. Really funny though.

 

[Metalman_666]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

Whoever wrote that review is obviously trying a little too hard to get attention. I mean some lines were funny and all ("it never stopped ejaculating its hot metal love juice all over me"), but seriously that's such a waste of peoples' time.

5150 review anyone?

 

[joelap]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

I still think that guy is pretty funny and I also think he's doing a parody. HE MEANS TO BE FUNNY!

If any of you think he's a 14 year old kid and he's writing this review, being serious, I think you're way off. Waaaaaaaaaaaay Off.

Just my two cents.

Yeah but it's so much more fun to think that he is only 14 :laugh2:

No, I knew it was just someone with too much time on their hands. How would someone that young have the competence to say "burning like the crotch of a vietnamese whore." Yeah, this guy is definately just someone with too much time on his hands.

 

[skyydogg01]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

the Peavey 5150 post...


Price Paid: N/A

Features: 10
Let get one this straight: the Peavey 5150 is made only for rockers who can handle balls-swallowing METAL ACTION (or AXE-shun). So if you wearing some ****ing backwards red baseball cap and thinking you're gonna be the next Korn Against the Bizkit or whatever the **** you listen to, then you might as well just take that $5,000 Les Paul your uncle gave you and throw it under the tires of whatever *****-ass sport coupe you're driving, because the 5150 doesn't have TIME for your *****-ASS ****!

See, the people at Peavey were smart, because they put like twenty knobs on the 5150. Anyone who knows how to truly rock knows there's only one knobs that matters -- GAIN. That way, when the salesman sees you plugging in the Mexico-made Fender strat or whatever other *****-ass guitar you pick off the rack, and he sees you start messing with every knob on the board while you insult the 5150 with your blatantly non-metal licks, he can kick your sorry ass OFF the chair and beat you like the REO Speedwagon fan you probably are, because no one who truly understood the 5150 would waste time with knobs when they could be pumping out some killer Sacrificium tunes on a Signature Randy Rhoads Jackson V at top volume.

Sound Quality: 10
You know what I use. SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, downtuned to B, with only my DOD FX-59 THRASHMASTER pedal between it and the 5150 (look up the THRASHMASTER for my other reviews). Yesterday, I took my 5150 over to my friend Dino's house, and he opened it up and disconnected every knob except the GAIN one, and then we busted that knob off so it's permanently stuck at 10, because that's the only number I need to know when it comes to pumping out my hot n' tasty licks with my new side project, LETHALICON, when we hit the stage at the Greenbriar Community Center every Thursday. After Dino and I modded my amp, every time i hit a low B, it sounds like the members of Hierarchical Punish are in my basement, beating the members of Civilization Hatred to death with amplified, unbridled metal brutality. This amp is for PURE, SLUTBANGING METAL, so don't even touch it unless you're ready to proclaim your dedication to annihilation!

Reliability: 10
I always say a good amp is like a good woman -- if it lasts through the first couple beatings, it's yours for life. This baby can take all the kicks and still pump out the hottest licks. Once, when I caught my little brother looking at my Signature Randy Rhoads Jackson V, I strapped his head to the 5150 and hung him out the window by his ankles. He kept squirmin' and hollerin' until finally I dropped him, but it was okay, because the 5150 was hooked back up in minutes, and none of the blood or snot stopped it from giving me the hot metal injection I demand. Let me put it this way: the 5150 will treat you better than any girlfriend, because it screams louder, it's easier to pick up, and it shuts up when you take your plug out.

 

[skyydogg01]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

Customer Support: 10
You think I have time to talk to corporate non-rockers about this ****? No ****ing way! Any time I got a problem with anything, my amigo Dino sets me up just fine. Sometimes, I'll call the customer service number, and when they pick up the phone, I'll put the receiver down by my amp and crank out "Fool for the City" by Foghat just to show my appreciation. They're never on the phone when I finish, but I'm sure they like to hear how at least SOME of us know how to use their amps for the prep-smacking ROCK they wanna hear.

Overall Rating: 10
I've been playing long enough to know that this amp kicks more ass and gets more chicks than my band's last bass player. Look, if you're still reading this review, then you obviously have some sort of cranial damage. If you do, that means you probably already own a 5150 and a Signature Randy Rhoads Jackson V, in which case, KEEP ROCKIN'! Because if you didn't already own one of these, by now you should be at Guitar Center, buying your 5150 head and telling them how they need to hold a Guitar Center 5150-a-thon, because it's the only amp that matters anyway.

Submitted by Rip Glitter at 02/16/2001 10:30

 

[Metalman_666]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

Who would've guessed that review was written by the same Rip Glitter :laugh2:

 

[skyydogg01]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

he made reference to the DOD Thrashmaster ... here it is ....


Price Paid: US $59

Ease of Use: 10
This pedal doesn't **** around with lots of fancy-schmancy knobs. You get Level, Gain, and Presence. What the **** else do you need? Personally, I don't like having to do math when I'm trying to get good tone out of my axe. That's why the helpful folks at DOD have removed numbers from their knob dials, and just use black dots. Why the **** should i have to remember "Presence 3, Gain 10, Level 10" when my little brother's jagoff friends come over and **** with my ****? When I plug in my Signature Randy Rhoads Jackson V, I only want to think about one thing: rocking my ass off. The THRASH MASTER gives me that
hardcore metal edge I want without all the ***** crap. Turn the knobs and turn it up!

Sound Quality: 10
I wish I could explain it. It's like Kerry King and Scott Ian went
cannibal, killed and ate the members of Diabolic Intent, jacked off their Diabolic Intent-infested spooge all over the second Type O album, and played it through my Eddie Van Halen 5150 half-stack at top volume. This pedal is METAL through and through. Sometimes I have to stop and slam my head into the wall because I can't believe how ****ing amazing my axe sounds with the Thrash Master. After I regain consciousness, I can hear this heavy grinding noise through my amp, and i realize that even when I was knocked out, the Thrash Master KEPT ON ROCKING WITHOUT ME. That's how good this pedal is.

Reliability: 10
You can beat this thing like a cheap back-alley whore and it'll keep
coming back for more. No matter how EXTREME you think you might be, the THRASH MASTER can take all you dish out and more. It never stops pumping out the fist-pounding metal, even if you kick it like some ***** BUSH fan who showed up at the last Dark Legion show because he thought it was a D&D tournament.

Customer Support: N/A

Overall Rating: 10
If you don't get the point by now, maybe you never will. The THRASH
MASTER is ready to give massive strokes to all your neighbors and those people who are unlucky enough to be walking by your home when you're playing through it. If you want, I will come over and thrash on my amp on your lawn, and you can install some new windows after you pound some craters into the walls with your head, because it's just that intense. And it's only like $59, so it only takes like 5 lawn mowing jobs before you can buy it.

Submitted by Rip Glitter at 05/12/2000 08:28

 

[That90'sGuy]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

That way, when the salesman sees you plugging in the Mexico-made Fender strat or whatever other *****-ass guitar you pick off the rack, and he sees you start messing with every knob on the board while you insult the 5150 with your blatantly non-metal licks, he can kick your sorry ass OFF the chair and beat you like the REO Speedwagon fan you probably are, because no one who truly understood the 5150 would waste time with knobs when they could be pumping out some killer Sacrificium tunes on a Signature Randy Rhoads Jackson V at top volume.

I love REO Speedwagon! :blackeye: It's like he KNOWS me :saeek:

 

[75lespaul]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

Wow--Dino is to Rip Glitter what Vern was to Ernest...know what ah mean?


***ing hilarious!!!!!!! :cussing: :cussing: :cussing: :headbang: :banghead: :headbang: :banghead: :headbang: :banghead:

 

[Naps]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

That settles it I have to get a Randy Roads Signature and a 5150!

 

[Vincent]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

This guy obviously has a thing for uber-hot rodded 5150s and Randy Rhoads Signature Flying - V! Who would have guessed they were written by the same person??? :>

Points to ponder after reading this review:

1. Who the hell is Dino? He busted this guy's 5150 and modded his RR Flying Vee!
2. Hot Metal Juice???
3. Hahha... I wonder if he really does mow lawns to buy his gear?
4. I can't imagine the 5150 ever needing more pre-amp distortion than it has.

 

[rombola]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

. Look, if you're still reading this review, then you obviously have some sort of cranial damage.

that is totally true

 

[That90'sGuy]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

This guy obviously has a thing for uber-hot rodded 5150s and Randy Rhoads Signature Flying - V! Who would have guessed they were written by the same person??? :>

Points to ponder after reading this review:

1. Who the hell is Dino? He busted this guy's 5150 and modded his RR Flying Vee!
2. Hot Metal Juice???
3. Hahha... I wonder if he really does mow lawns to buy his gear?
4. I can't imagine the 5150 ever needing more pre-amp distortion than it has.

The guy that came to mind was the guitarist from Fear Factory, but it doesn't make sense that he would be modding this guy's stuff... :laugh2:

 

[nahfuten]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

holy crap that stuffs funny. there is no way he's 14

 

[Breaking the law]

Re: Pretty funny Harmony Central review

Someone made a joke.. The RR review ws the funniest, IMO.. Yet, I kept laughing while reading them all.. At least someone has a sense of humour..