Diatribe:
The "macho" thing is a weird assertion to me. Most of my friends are musicians and I've never met anyone who thinks that way. I don't see anyone here calling you and 80s and the OP a bunch of wimps for preferring thinner low strings. We like what we like.
The most important thing to me is string tension. There's a range I like, which is between about 20-22 lbs on each wound string, between 15-17 lbs on plain strings. I zeroed in on that through years of ordering custom string sets for different tunings. Strings in that range snap back how I expect when I do a lot of tremolo picking, deflect how I expect when I do hard palm mutes, bend how I expect, etc etc. Lighter tension below that range is fine for my fretting hand but actually harder on my picking hand because the strings aren't as physically stable. I like strings on the tighter side of that range on a Gibson scale. That puts me around .068-.070 for a low B. As the scale gets longer, I find I prefer less and less overall tension. It's slight but it keeps the response similar.
I don't have a problem with clarity. I find that Duncans are more prone to muddiness and a lack of string separation on my Gibsons, which is why I like the openness and articulation of BKPs so much. Duncans work better for me on longer scales. I'm also playing through a dry amp that has a lot of dynamics even at high gain, and I play a lot of alternate-picked parts with ringing open strings, so string separation and note definition are really important to me and it's pretty noticeable when they're not good enough.
The point of all of that is to say that there's a pretty wide range of optimal string gauges depending on your gear and how you play. Even if we're just talking about "death metal", which is what I play too.