Re: The Well XVIX: Hot Grits says it's too drunk to be this early...
I always thought you were a cool dude before but this just seals the deal knowing you saw that movie in the theater.
haha, to me that just means I'm old...
The raunchiest, dirty, drunken swaggerin' rock band in your opinion?
Perhaps the MC5. Early Van Halen did pretty well on that front, and you can't rule out the Stones. We here at The Defendants do our bit as well.
I love otters. I've always been highly impressed by them, but one day I was visiting the zoo...
...It was late in the afternoon and the otters were all sleeping in a big pile. One of the otters rolled off the pile, climbed to the top, weed all over his sleeping brothers and sisters, and nestled back down on top of the pile. At that point I knew they were the animal for me.
If you could have any profession in the world other than being a professional musician, what would you choose?
Wildest dreams: Passing central midfielder (in the Molby/Alonso mould) for Liverpool FC.
More everyday: It'd be cool to sit around in a boutique amp shop. I get to do that once a week right now...
Forever young, you want to be forever young? Is this a true statement?
Well, I've always looked younger than I am. I don't mind growing older. Its the getting stupider that annoys me.
Nastiest thing you've ever eaten?
Hmmm,
catfood?
a tequila slammer mixed with congealing Baileys (solid enough to be considered edible)?
my mother's 'fish surprise'?
a cockroach?
-you choose.
You have to cartwheel naked down a main street for half a mile with a parade following you to save your family's life. What song/songs do you have the marching band perform and who is the parade made up of?
The marching band would perform a medley of 'panama', 'the monty python theme', 'fairies wear boots', 'let it whip', 'alphabet street', 'hush' and 'the way we were'.
The procession would consist of:
-The membership of the Point Chevalier Returned Services Association (in drag).
-half a dozen bomb squad dogs (no handlers) dressed as Bichon Frise.
-local legend John Rowles (rumour has it that Elvis Presley was the world's greatest ever John Rowles impersonator) mounted atop an Indian elephant.
-Reinhold Bogner, dressed in a slight fat suit, ill fitting jeans, sport sandals and a peavey branded polo shirt, cradling that cute polar bear cub from East Germany, both eagerly sniffing:
-a 60ft long pepperoni salami carried by dozens of promotional models (y'know, the ones who aren't quite good enough to be real models, like security guards are to cops) being whipped by midgets.
-the 1982 New Zealand world cup squad (wearing the original kit and moustaches, regardless of current waistlines) also being whipped by midgets.
-a pot of glue, symbolising famous New Zealand racehorse Phar Lap, carried by Rachel Hunter, whipped by cream.
-Richard Dawkins and the new Nazi Pope guy wrestling with ping pong bats taped to their hands in a vat of lukewarm custard, ringed with an electric fence (a great new zealand invention).
-and at both ends there would be special floats for The Hot Grits and the Defendants, with each band playing the other's music (no rehearsal). I would be ferried from one float to the other via a catapult and net system manned by David lee Roth dressed as a six foot tall broccoli.
Who do you think best lives up to the nickname 'Ham-bone'?
My mum. She's a hell of a woman.