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Lost my wife of 20 years...

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  • Demanic
    replied
    The ones who love us always want us to go on living while we still can. Even if their part to play is done, they can still cheer us on from the sidelines.

    Sent from my SM-A115A using Tapatalk

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  • Phantasmagoria
    replied
    Thanks for the kind words & encouragement. I don't see them ever forgetting her...she was so close to the two of them as were they to her. I know how much her loss means to them. She won't ever leave their hearts or memories (or mine) but moping at home won't solve or help with a thing. I know she'd be the last one to want us all to just sit around depressed all day long. I wanted to try and do something to lift their spirits a bit and I'm glad it worked out, at least to some extent.

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  • ErikH
    replied
    Originally posted by Phantasmagoria View Post
    Guess we're doing ok all things considered, thanks for thinking about us.. Sorry to hear about your mom. Wish you & your family the strength to get through this tough time.

    I took the boys out to dinner last night though none of us really felt like it. It was the first time we'd been out since she died. Ended up having a better evening/less depressing time than we expected,. We talked about her a lot, our situation & just life ..it felt almost like she was with us there.
    This right here is the first step for you and the boys and a good sign you'll be OK. These moments right there will help take the pressures off and are really a part of the grieving process. She will always be with you in your hearts and memories. Never let them forget about her.

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  • Phantasmagoria
    replied
    Originally posted by AdrianSD View Post
    So sorry to learn about such loss, the words are failing me, really. You still have a wonderful family to lead and inspire, your boys are now more than ever looking for guidance and you will be their island where they'll always find peace and certainty. Your late wife is already proud of you. Stay strong, it's not business as usual but you're a good man and good things happen to good people. God bless you and your family and may your wonderful wife rest in peace.
    Thank you for your kind words and advice. Very nice of you to say so. I don't really have much of a plan going forward, Just want to be around for my boys & try and help them out to the largest extent that I can. I'd like them to make her proud & I know they will.

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  • AdrianSD
    replied
    So sorry to learn about such loss, the words are failing me, really. You still have a wonderful family to lead and inspire, your boys are now more than ever looking for guidance and you will be their island where they'll always find peace and certainty. Your late wife is already proud of you. Stay strong, it's not business as usual but you're a good man and good things happen to good people. God bless you and your family and may your wonderful wife rest in peace.

    Leave a comment:


  • Phantasmagoria
    replied
    Guess we're doing ok all things considered, thanks for thinking about us.. Sorry to hear about your mom. Wish you & your family the strength to get through this tough time.

    I took the boys out to dinner last night though none of us really felt like it. It was the first time we'd been out since she died. Ended up having a better evening/less depressing time than we expected,. We talked about her a lot, our situation & just life ..it felt almost like she was with us there.

    Leave a comment:


  • Ascension
    replied
    How you holding up man? Lost my mother Thanksgiving day it was expected but still hurts. After going through the arrangements and all the emotions of that was thinking about you and thought I would pop over and see how your holding up?

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  • Phantasmagoria
    replied
    Honestly, the incident I mentioned above is one of many far, far worse. it's such a sordid tale, you wouldn't believe stuff like this could happen to anyone anywhere in the world ...yet it did. I didn't say we were all given hell before lightly.

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  • greekdude
    replied
    ?????? man that's insane.. I have never heard such a story in our little corner in the balkans region. Home schooling can happen only in certain medical grounds, but this?

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  • Phantasmagoria
    replied
    Originally posted by greekdude View Post
    This must be the hardest ordeal you are going through right now. As long as you and the boys are thinking of her, she will always be around guarding you like an angel.
    PS
    Just curious, cause I had my share of problems with my S as well, why home school? I am asking as a parent.
    Thanks for the kind words & encouragement...much appreciated. I do know she will be around if it's even vaguely possible for her to be. Regarding the homeschooling thing as I said , we were threatened by her nephew who visited us at home ..this guy was 10 years younger than my wife & she used to love him like her own child.

    His exact words were "Your son's school is pretty far away. It's a long ride (in the school bus) & it's not safe, anything could happen, maybe you should be worried about that". Long story short considering the people we were dealing with,what they had done to her after her father passed and their rich, colourful history, we were worried. The little one, my youngest, never went to school. He went straight from pre-school to home-schooling.

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  • greekdude
    replied
    I corrected my spelling again, Yup I am asking the reason for home schooling, if this is can be disclosed.

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  • dave74
    replied
    Originally posted by greekdude View Post
    This must be the hardest ordeal you are going through right now. As long as you and the boys are thinking of her, she will always be around guarding you like an angel.
    PS
    Just curious, cause I had my share of problems with my S as well, while home school? I am asking as a parent.
    Sorry to ask, I'm not trying to be the grammer police for which i would certainly fail lol.

    Are you asking him;
    Why to home school? or,,,,,
    Why not do home schooling?

    Leave a comment:


  • greekdude
    replied
    This must be the hardest ordeal you are going through right now. As long as you and the boys are thinking of her, she will always be around guarding you like an angel.
    PS
    Just curious, cause I had my share of problems with my S as well, why home school? I am asking as a parent.
    Last edited by greekdude; 11-27-2020, 05:52 AM.

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  • Phantasmagoria
    replied
    Originally posted by Demanic View Post
    There are some things that you can't really prepare for. You just endure them as best you can.

    Sent from my SM-A115A using Tapatalk
    Definitely was'nt prepared for this. But yeah...that's what we're trying to do.

    Originally posted by Wattage View Post
    I can't even fathom, my deepest and most sincere condolences. I wish you much grace and peace
    Thanks Wattage, it means a lot. Very kind of you.


    Originally posted by Jack_TriPpEr View Post
    My condolences. And like others have said (and probably better) try to focus your and your kids thoughts towards ones of gratitude for having had the privilege to have had such a loving and loyal ally in your corner for all those years. I know it will take time, its ok, dont feel pressure to "get thru it 2quickly". Be kind, patient and forgiving with yourselves and each other along the way.
    Yeah, I do try and steer them towards the positives. She had such an abundance of love for them & vice versa. Our kids were our lives. They are both pretty shocked and traumatized & they need to work through that..not 'get past it', because I don't think any of us ever will, but just be able to come to terms and deal better.

    Originally posted by TwilightOdyssey View Post
    Wow, I am terribly sorry to hear this news. I hope that you and your boys are doing as well as can be expected, what a horrible thing to have happen.
    Yeah, beyond horrible. There are no words to describe the miserable trauma of an experience like that. I just try to focus on her life before. Thanks for the kind words Twilight. Means a lot to us. You guy's have all been so kind.

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  • TwilightOdyssey
    replied
    Wow, I am terribly sorry to hear this news. I hope that you and your boys are doing as well as can be expected, what a horrible thing to have happen.

    Leave a comment:

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