I've been doing this with the band that I play with for the last 15 years. It has given some improvements in our sound. But regardless of how often I play stuff back for the other two guys, when we are actually playing, the drummer always thinks that the guitar is too loud, so we turn it down. Then the guitarist, who is also the vocalist, thinks that vocals and drums aren't loud enough, so he turns up the PA, which is running the vocals and kick drum mics. Then inevitably while listening to the playback, they both say that the bass is too loud. They still don't get that it sounds different out in front than what each of them is hearing from their respective positions in the room when we're playing.
I've given up trying to convince them of the fact, which is probably part of the reason that we don't play together very often anymore.
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Running sound from the stage is almost impossible, even for me, it is a difficult task. Being objective is one thing, but being able to quickly, fairly, and responsibly do the task while actively playing is another.
I have a saying, some like it, many don't: " A good sound guy is one who can make 7 out of 10 people in the room happy, the other three can go F%$# themselves..."
The point of it is simple, every ear hears the exact same thing differently, who is right depends on who is getting paid, and who is writing the check. When you find a sound guy you like, you like him for three basic reasons:
1. He/She is your type of character, you get along with them, and they fit in well with your group as a whole. Despite their skill level.
2. He/She makes you happy with the sound you're getting, and you feel YOUR goals are supported. Despite their skill level.
3. He/She acquires good feedback from other peers and trusted individuals about your sound, and you can afford to pay them... Good ones aren't usually cheap.
Without those three things, the sound guy is just some other butthead that you have to work with that day. They either make your day, or they don't, but if they miss on any one of the three points, they are not YOUR guy.
Being a sound guy is not easy. Beyond the physics, the skill, the knowledge, and the job itself, you have to be a character chameleon, able to fit in with multiple personalities and demographics. You work with Rap groups one night, Metal bands the next, and then on Tuesdays, you do reggae. All different, yet all the same to you as a sound guy. Now throw in traveling the country, working with all kinds of different acts and corporate clients, and managing all your other upcoming events at the same time! You have to be a jerk every now and then when your patience is tested, and you know what you need, but just can't seem to win over " the Talent " and get them to see eye to eye with your own needs. So be nice you your local sound guy, he may not be there yet, but don't scare him away from it before he even gets a real taste
