By accepting that you play the way you do!!
No need to try to sound like anyone else!
Learn all the music basics, learn to use your ears, play what you hear and not what you think!
Music is human, flawed and beautiful at the same time, sometimes ugly is the way to go, sometimes less is more, sometimes alot shows very little.
Find a teacher, hang out where music is being played, suck it all in, be observant and keep an open mind about the whole deal, and never ever envy others for their abilities, see it as a gift for you to hear, and then make your own voice!
And practise...hehe
Niels
Now, my post my go by the wayside on ya, but my suggestion is to suck... and suck hard! What do I mean by that? If you think you suck, take all that 'suck' and wear it out! All that slop and self conscious issues will always remain, until you stop, take a look at what you do know and play it hard as if it didn't suck.
Everyday (it seems) as we self-taught guitarists are bombarded with new information, we naturally want to apply this cool new info to our playing. That's fine and dandy, but IMO, if you wanna get anywhere away from suckville, you've gotta do as King's X guitarist Ty Tabor said- and I agree- he had to embrace what he hated about his playing, and then that helped him to forge a style that he became good at. I am a similar case. I wanted to be a shredder-like player, but as years went on I realized I was done learning guitar 'tricks' and the like and figured what chops I had had to be enough. I wasn't discouraged, but in reality, I guess some of us are just not cut out to be true shredders.
Again, I thought my playing sucked, but as I became more musically mature I decided I was gonna take my suck, get so good at playing my suck that I'd be able to be good at it. Lo and behold I actually have mobility on the frets now! I got good at what I did have and also forged my own personal style out of this. These days, anything I wanna play and get good at, I just suck at it until it becomes good... sure I can still go, "I still kinda suck."- but I look at my playing and how I got to where I wanted to be and I know in time, depending how much work I put into it, I will have gained something I've become good at all because I've embraced my sucking so I could "turn lemons into lemonade", so to speak.
My experience may be unorthodox, but it worked for me no doubt. As far as schools, you don't have to enroll in one to be good cuz you'll suck there to... and you'll be paying for it.
Rid is right. I've only been playing for over a year, but I've already found out (the hard way) that I'm not cut out to be a shredder, I'm not very good at tapping, and...well I just can't play very very fast. I'm much better off playing blues and classic rock. So I embraced that, and instead of trying to be Yngwie Malmsteen, I tried to become me, by playing as I can, though it may be a bit slow at times, and putting as much feeling as I can into my playing. And having fun while doing so. I practice a few hours a day, and play with a few other people, and thats of course helped me as well. But like Rid and others said, embrace what you are as a player and not what you aren't. Build on what you are to create your own musical identity.
Once you know what good tone sounds like then experiment and try to create your own unique tone. This will make your playing immediately recognizable to anyone who is familiar with your playing. This is when people who hear you should be able to take the blindfold test. It will become your signature sound.
After only a little over a year, I wouldn't be saying "I'm not cut out to be a shredder."
I'm sure Yngwie, satch, and vai all felt the same. It just requires insane amounts of practicse and determination.
It's taken me 3 years to even become "sorta" fast. I run scales every day, play blues shuffles made up of very hard to play chords, and lots of stuff like that.
It makes your fingers more flexable, speed comes with time, accuracy comes with practicse.
don't play with your thumb. i have 11's on my guitar and i couldn't find a pick, so i just played with my thumb. oww, pain. at least they weren't 14's. i shudder at the thought