Scatterwound
New member
I copied the following from a board some 4-5 years ago and recently dug it up on my hard drive. Just thought I would share it here. Hope this is the right forum for this. :?:
Why the guitar is the perfect instrument:
1) It's pitch range covers several octaves
2) You can change the timbre of your sound by how you pick the string
3) You can play in any key you like (unlike horns or harmonica)
4) It can be used to play practically any style (unlike a violin or ukulele)
5) It's portable (sure a flute or kazoo is portable, but limited)
6) You can bend and slide the strings (unlike a piano)
7) You can have a whammy bar (how many mandolins do you see with a whammy?)
8) You can add 5000 effects and make cool sounds other instruments can't even dream of
9) It's affordable (tried pricing a sax lately?)
10) Strings are cheap, easy to replace and tune (can you say "piano tuner"?)
11) It actually sounds like a guitar (I haven't heard a synthesizer yet that comes close to sounding like a guitar)
12) Its design is nothing less than beautiful (even if you don't play guitar, you can get one, set it in your living room, and you're instantly cool)
13) Its one of the very few instruments that you can add massive distortion to and it actually sounds good
14) Chicks (if Steve Vai played the accordion, would he be as cool? ...think about it)
15) Guitars are perfect for smashing on stage (although Mozart might have smashed a cello in his day)
16) I love it when people say "Wow, you play guitar?!?" as opposed to "Wow, you play the trombone?!?"
17) Feedback
18) Lots of people play them, so you can learn stuff easier
19) You can play it with your teeth
20) You can light it on fire with starter fluid while chanting psychedelic voodoo stuff
21) They have stores especially for guitars called "Guitar Stores" where everyone is cool and you can crank up the amps and wail some tasty licks (try that at your local piano store)
22) There are 10,000 styles, colors and setups to choose from (face it, a clarinet is a clarinet)
23) You can own 20 of them, and still want more
24) Power chords
25) Even if you play the accordion, you're allowed to play the guitar (but not visa versa)
26) You can have one made in the shape of a battle axe and wage war with your foes
27) You play it drunk and nobody can tell
28) The only other person in the band who gets more chicks is possibly the lead singer (depending on how good he is) and even then you can hit him with your guitar and he's out of the picture
............................Nuff Said ????
Why the guitar is the perfect instrument:
1) It's pitch range covers several octaves
2) You can change the timbre of your sound by how you pick the string
3) You can play in any key you like (unlike horns or harmonica)
4) It can be used to play practically any style (unlike a violin or ukulele)
5) It's portable (sure a flute or kazoo is portable, but limited)
6) You can bend and slide the strings (unlike a piano)
7) You can have a whammy bar (how many mandolins do you see with a whammy?)
8) You can add 5000 effects and make cool sounds other instruments can't even dream of
9) It's affordable (tried pricing a sax lately?)
10) Strings are cheap, easy to replace and tune (can you say "piano tuner"?)
11) It actually sounds like a guitar (I haven't heard a synthesizer yet that comes close to sounding like a guitar)
12) Its design is nothing less than beautiful (even if you don't play guitar, you can get one, set it in your living room, and you're instantly cool)
13) Its one of the very few instruments that you can add massive distortion to and it actually sounds good
14) Chicks (if Steve Vai played the accordion, would he be as cool? ...think about it)
15) Guitars are perfect for smashing on stage (although Mozart might have smashed a cello in his day)
16) I love it when people say "Wow, you play guitar?!?" as opposed to "Wow, you play the trombone?!?"
17) Feedback
18) Lots of people play them, so you can learn stuff easier
19) You can play it with your teeth
20) You can light it on fire with starter fluid while chanting psychedelic voodoo stuff
21) They have stores especially for guitars called "Guitar Stores" where everyone is cool and you can crank up the amps and wail some tasty licks (try that at your local piano store)
22) There are 10,000 styles, colors and setups to choose from (face it, a clarinet is a clarinet)
23) You can own 20 of them, and still want more
24) Power chords
25) Even if you play the accordion, you're allowed to play the guitar (but not visa versa)
26) You can have one made in the shape of a battle axe and wage war with your foes
27) You play it drunk and nobody can tell
28) The only other person in the band who gets more chicks is possibly the lead singer (depending on how good he is) and even then you can hit him with your guitar and he's out of the picture
............................Nuff Said ????
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