Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

[jeremy]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

Not sure the market is what it used to be.

it sure isnt. it can be a good time to get gear if you have the money laying around

 

[That90'sGuy]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

This is a ten step proceedure.

1 - Buy a gas mask from an army surplus. Buy a replacement charcoal filter for the gas mask online (the ones that come with the masks are often in poor condition).
2 - Buy several gallons of Chlorox ammonia bleach, and Windex. Also a 7lb sledgehammer, some plastic garbage bags, some tape, and a hacksaw with replacement blades.
3 - Put your purchases in a backpack and go over to your friends house for a few beers.
4 - During the evening, excuse yourself for a few minutes to go to the bathroom. While in the bathroom, put on the mask, mix (all but two cups of) the bleach and all of the windex to form mustard gas, and pick up the hammer.
5 - While your friend is choking/crying from the mustard gas, hit him several times in the head with the sledgehammer.
6 - Drag your friend to the bathroom and into the bath tub. Turn on all exhaust fans in the house to help clear the air, and open any windows at the rear of the house.
7 - Use the hack saw to cut your friend into small pieces and bag them with the plastic bags you brought. Carefully tape them shut, then double bag them and tape those bags shut.
8 - By the time you're finished this the house should be clear of gas. Remove the gas mask.
9 - Use the remaining cup of bleach to scour any areas of the house that may have blood on them.
10- Pick up the guitar, put it in it's case, and exit the house. Put your friend's body parts in your freezer. Over the next few weeks, eat the meat and run the bones through your garbage dispenser. Larger bones must be hacksawed into smaller pieces to fit properly.

EDIT - This is how I would do it. . . theoretically.

:eyecrazy:

 

[BTMN]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

hmm

I wouldn't kill him or steal his guitar

WINNER!!!! :fing2:

 

[Myaccount876]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

This is a ten step proceedure.

1 - Buy a gas mask from an army surplus. Buy a replacement charcoal filter for the gas mask online (the ones that come with the masks are often in poor condition).
2 - Buy several gallons of Chlorox ammonia bleach, and Windex. Also a 7lb sledgehammer, some plastic garbage bags, some tape, and a hacksaw with replacement blades.
3 - Put your purchases in a backpack and go over to your friends house for a few beers.
4 - During the evening, excuse yourself for a few minutes to go to the bathroom. While in the bathroom, put on the mask, mix (all but two cups of) the bleach and all of the windex to form mustard gas, and pick up the hammer.
5 - While your friend is choking/crying from the mustard gas, hit him several times in the head with the sledgehammer.
6 - Drag your friend to the bathroom and into the bath tub. Turn on all exhaust fans in the house to help clear the air, and open any windows at the rear of the house.
7 - Use the hack saw to cut your friend into small pieces and bag them with the plastic bags you brought. Carefully tape them shut, then double bag them and tape those bags shut.
8 - By the time you're finished this the house should be clear of gas. Remove the gas mask.
9 - Use the remaining cup of bleach to scour any areas of the house that may have blood on them.
10- Pick up the guitar, put it in it's case, and exit the house. Put your friend's body parts in your freezer. Over the next few weeks, eat the meat and run the bones through your garbage dispenser. Larger bones must be hacksawed into smaller pieces to fit properly.

EDIT - This is how I would do it. . . theoretically.

The problem in your plan is that you forgot about leaving hair behind. Wear a hairnet so the investigators can't find any DNA traces of you. Also, don't expose any skin or flesh, as those can leave behind evidence. You should also have him die from the mustard gas instead of the sledgehammer, as that could make a mess of evidence. It has to be clean. Drain his blood into trash bags and dispose of it properly (with no flesh or hair exposed to leave evidence). Then you should cover every inch of the bath tub with layers of plastic wrap except for the drain for cutting. This way any left over blood won't stain the tub. And instead of putting the body parts in the freezer, put the parts in a bunch of trash bags with an extra weight inside and through the remains in a body of deep water, preferably a river which will relocate the body.

Once all of that is taken care of, you have a nice '59 Les Paul to enjoy.

 

[ItsaBass]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

The problem in your plan is that you forgot about leaving hair behind. Wear a hairnet so the investigators can't find any DNA traces of you. Also, don't expose any skin or flesh, as those can leave behind evidence. You should also have him die from the mustard gas instead of the sledgehammer, as that could make a mess of evidence. It has to be clean. Drain his blood into trash bags and dispose of it properly (with no flesh or hair exposed to leave evidence). Then you should cover every inch of the bath tub with layers of plastic wrap except for the drain for cutting. This way any left over blood won't stain the tub. And instead of putting the body parts in the freezer, put the parts in a bunch of trash bags with an extra weight inside and through the remains in a body of deep water, preferably a river which will relocate the body.

Once all of that is taken care of, you have a nice '59 Les Paul to enjoy.

Nah. Just take a bath in Nair before the murder.

 

[Empty Pockets]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

I am liking this Nair bath idea. I feel like that could solve my razor bump issue.

 

[Ayrton]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

You are assuming that all '59 Les Pauls sound great EP...

The vintage market is no where near what it was, and from what I am hearing $250k might be strong for such a guitar.

 

[Empty Pockets]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

This one definitely sounds great.

It actually ruined my life.

 

[formula73]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

Does your friend know you're asking us the best way to kill him?

 

[Markk]

I think a clean 1959 Standard Sunburst Les Paul would fetch around $300,000 in todays market.

I've seen people killed over a whole lot less.

Buy a nice '59 Historic LP, pre-2012, for about $4,500. They might not be vintage, but they are wonderful guitars. Then again, I've seen people killed over a whole lot less.

Perhaps is it better to be green with envy, than yourself become a murder victim.

Bill

imagine your plan works, then one of your friends will start scheming. lol

Sent from my BlackBerry Runtime for Android Apps using Tapatalk 2

 

[GuitarStv]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

The problem in your plan is that you forgot about leaving hair behind. Wear a hairnet so the investigators can't find any DNA traces of you. Also, don't expose any skin or flesh, as those can leave behind evidence. You should also have him die from the mustard gas instead of the sledgehammer, as that could make a mess of evidence. It has to be clean. Drain his blood into trash bags and dispose of it properly (with no flesh or hair exposed to leave evidence). Then you should cover every inch of the bath tub with layers of plastic wrap except for the drain for cutting. This way any left over blood won't stain the tub. And instead of putting the body parts in the freezer, put the parts in a bunch of trash bags with an extra weight inside and through the remains in a body of deep water, preferably a river which will relocate the body.

Once all of that is taken care of, you have a nice '59 Les Paul to enjoy.

But then you waste 3 and a half months worth of meat . . .

 

[BunnyGuitarShredder]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

But then you waste 3 and a half months worth of meat . . .

1. I would sub the sledgehammer for a frozen leg of lamb, then you wouldn't make a big mess, yet still tenderize him with it a little, then cook and eat the leg of lamb, then store up the 3 months worth of meat

2. Cannibalism will make you live longer by absorbing his life essence, then you get his guitar playing skill too, and he serves you in the afterlife most likely as a rythym guitarist since you stole his skill

 

[Empty Pockets]

Re: Your Friend's 59: a Theoretical

Does your friend know you're asking us the best way to kill him?

Nope.

Err uhh I MEAN THIS SITUATION IS TOTALLY THEORETICAL! I HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN A 59 BURST IN PERSON HA. HA. HA.

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