How can people be so naive and stupid?

[Mr Wolf]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

Oh, this kid's one of my best friends, I can't just "give him the boot," besides, it's HIS band, he's made thispoint a million times. He makes all the decisions on his own, and I'm usually the only to object to anything, which makes me feel like an ogre. Ah, well, I like the music we make, so I'm sticking it out.

I feel for you man. The situation is like that in my band with the singer. He frequently causes problems and he isnt talented. He tries to run the band and he seem to have his dream of how it should be. I tend to be the one who speaks out and its really awkward, he has been my best friend for 13 years. Band situations that he causes (rest of band agree) have caused friction between us. Other members are getting restless with recent progress made so after this last gig we will possibly split. In a way is a relief. Pity though, our shows have rocked. Anyways i symphasize with your situation. In whats happened i would not give him too many favours like fixing his stuff if he bosses you around. when i go to uni i want to start a band with people who 'get it', i wana make something that will be perfect! I will dream

 

[midnite_man]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

Hehe. Sounds familiar Indie. The other guitarist/bassist in my band is the same way. He never cleans or maintains his guitars. He replaces strings when they break. Has no sense of what good guitar tone is (he plays through a Boss ME5 into a solid state power amp).

I'm super frustrated with his whole approach to the instrument and his tone. We are like polar opposites.

Bottom line: Some folks are just plug and play. Others (like me) are plug and tweak and swap this tube and change those speakers and then play :laugh2:

Yup, and that's why we're all here at forums like this mostly talking about different tweaks and swaps. We're always looking for that ultimate tone.
Hey, somebody's gotta do the dirty work....lol.

 

[Xeromus]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

#1: Most people on the planet are ignorant little crapheads, musicians or not, that's just a fact.

#2: Best friend or not, I would not be in a band with such a douche bag. I think I would kill him.

 

[BS123]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

What I want to know is what the guy says when you give him back his guitar.

 

[Indie P Bass]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

What I want to know is what the guy says when you give him back his guitar.

We'll find out tomorrow, he's getting it back at the show... :earl: if he doesn't like it, this is what I'll do to him.

 

[Jonny R]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

I can change strings and clean my guitar, but anything else I prefer to entrust to a professional. I look after my guitars and amps though.

I might pick up some more guitar skills as a hobby, but maybe I'm just lazy in this area.
I prefer just to pay someone and have it done really well.

Apparently Beethoven was crap at using his hands for anything technical, but amazing on the piano. I take some comfort from that.

Doesn't excuse your friend from just being a dumbass with his instrument!

 

[Tom M]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

How bout this - it's HIS guitar. If it meant enough to him to clean it, he would have done it. Maybe all that grime was there for a reason. How'd you like if I took your axe and started messin with it?

 

[Jonny R]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

If you took a messed up axe of mine and refurbished it, I'd but you a bottle of single malt whisky (er...if you were 18 and in my country where it's ok then).

Unless I was Stevie Ray Vaughan and it was a certain old strat that you concientiously repainted for me.

 

[Indie P Bass]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

How bout this - it's HIS guitar. If it meant enough to him to clean it, he would have done it. Maybe all that grime was there for a reason. How'd you like if I took your axe and started messin with it?

Well, I kept telling him to clean it and he'd say, "why do I ahve to clean it, it's just a guitar." and I'd say, "it's wood, if it gets really dirty, it'll deteriorate," "so?"

yeah... if you took one of my guitars and cleaned it, I'd love you.

 

[yes-fan]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

my friend is like this. he thinks hes hot **** with his goldtop lespaul. all he plays is page licks and ALWAYS looks at me while he is playing. hes like looking for my aproval or something. he askes me the most stupid questions i could ever think of sometimes. like" dude i dont get it, why does it have to be in stereo again?". then he states" my octave pedal wont work with chords because my amp cant handel the lower octave so it makes it all blurry". then i say dude its the pedal not the amp and he goes " how do you know?". im just happy my band is full of ocd musicians who care to make things right and really get it and know when to listen to eachother. i feal like we are all on the same page. wich is really easy for me. really really easy.

 

[seanguynj]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

ehhh... my band has an f-ed up drummer... he thinks he's the wisest little piece of sh*t on the planet... kind of like a "i know it all, you don't know sh*t, leave me alone" type of deal. but the fact is, he can't keep a simple beat in a song... throws off the WHOLE band... i pity him though, i can't kick him off the band. but seriously, kids like these need to change their attitudes, and start accepting friendly advice and crud. darn it pisses me off..

 

[Closed Eye]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

I'd say have a band meeting/intevention. Talk to the other band members and see how they feel about your friend and bandleader. If they feel the same, give him the boot, if they want to keep him, try and nuture whatever talent he may have.

It's Show Business, no Show Friends! There's only one place for weak links, the front door! Sometimes, you've got to wake up one day and say "I'm not surrounding myself with idiots anymore. Then, you either quit and audition for other projects with pro-level guys, or you cut the cancer out of your existing band, and find someone who 'gets it.' People who 'don't get it' never will. You can't change those people, only disassociate yourself from them.

I always wonder if those "weak links" actually read these kinds of threads.

I'm always worried I'm going to be the weak link in a band, if I ever get in one, that's my main fear. But the thing is, of the people I've met (drummers, bassists, guitar-players), I'm the one with the most "knowledge" as far as I can tell...gear-wise anyway, and bit of theory (chord names mostly)...but that's not the point I was trying to make, or the question I was trying ask:

How does one prevent oneself from being the "weak-link"?

I read up on the magazines, I practice, I know my sh*t as far as what I can play, I listen to other musicians, find what people can do and maximize on it, although there's a lot things I can't do (I try to improve however) but there's always guy that play a whole hell of a lot better than I, knows more than I do, etc.,...so I'm a little worried.

 

[tone4days]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

How does one prevent oneself from being the "weak-link"?

easy, only play with guys who suck more than you :laugh2:

seriously though, there is no shame in being the weakest link as long as you always come prepared to the best of your ability, dont act like you are the STRONGEST link, and make concerted efforts to improve ...

i use to play in bands where i was weakest and i LOVED it because i was CONSTANTLY able to learn and grow .. i loved feeling my ass getting kicked every week then coming back the next week a little better for having learned from the experience ... by the end, i had raised my game to be level with them, and they even agreed to play two of my original compositions in our final concert

conversely, in the last 3 years i have only been in bands with weaker players, some MUCH weaker ... but fortunately, the weak players are nice people to be around, eager to improve, and grateful for assistance .. sometimes you just gotta go what you are dealt, yunno? .. if i was trying to 'make it' as a musician, i'd only hang with guys who 'got it', but it's just for fun, so it's better not to raise the drama

the younger guys have it a little rougher because a lot of mid to upper teenage guys dont have their heads on straight and many of them front a tough exterior because they are insecure about their weaknesses / shortcomings .. alot of the young guys on here seem to be average to above average maturity, so it makes sense that it would be a struggle for them to have to deal with below average maturity idiots .. my experience is that below average idiot teens cannot be reasoned with .. too much testosterone clouding the judgement ... you'll never get the guy to admit he knows nothing about guitars or that he cant drum in time or that an octave pedal is not meant for chords ... so just figure out how much crap you are willing to put up with and leave when the threshold gets surpassed ... one hint, if the idiots are making it more stress/struggle than fun, it's past time to go

good luck
t4d

ps - i'd have let the a$$hole keep his busted dirty axe .. maybe it wouldve taught him a lesson about keeping his gear in working order .. by fixing it (FOR FREE!), you've enabled him to keep on in his ways with the expectation that someone else will bail him out (for which he wont even show appreciation)

 

[Nightburst]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

Hey Indie how come you are friends with this guy and even in a band with him if you obviously can't stand him? This guy needs to learn a lesson the hard way, you've got to stop being the nice guy around him or he will dog you around forever. Just something to think about.

 

[Zerberus]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

His name isn´t Toby perchance?? :laugh2:

Just wondering

 

[HolyDirt]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

if he doesnt show you gratitude for the guitar set-up, offer to take it back.

THEN, RIP THE WIRING OUT, GIVE IT BACK AND SAY "it's YOUR guitar, not my problem..." :laugh2:

but seriously, everyone has encountered these types, they dont have a passion for music, and just play to play.

BOOT HIM BOOT HIM BOOT HIM

you might not think that your other band mates agree with you, but talk to them, they just might

 

[Indie P Bass]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

Oh, this kid won't ever admit when he's wrong. I've been playing since 6th grade (wow... that's like, 6 or 7 years now) and he's been playing since 8th grade. For two years he told me, "playing guitar is a wate of time and money. You could have spent that money on college and that time studying," well, suddenly, he wanted me to help him pick out a guitar. So I did. But, whenever he played it, for 4 months, he'd lay it on his lap like a lap-steel and play it by simple pushing down, I kept telling him that that's not how you play and he'd play alot better the conventional way, his response, "I'm trying something new," regardless, sooner or later he snapped out of it and played conventionally.
Well, about four months into playing as a band, he berrated the music I listen to becuase, "they use instruments to cover up cliched patterns," and, regardless, I let him have it. He kept saying, "you're just jealous cuase you don't write cool music like me," and, "you're upset cuase the music you listen to sucks," We listened to the same music, except he listened to the Ataris, Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Cursive, I didn't listen to those bands back then. He has no clue what a scale or mode is, he doesn't know keys, the only thing he knows it time signitures and he's obsessed with time changes.
So, I told him once that he's gotta learn more about music, and he said, "no, I'm make up my own thing," I was like, "well, before you make up your own thing, you gotta learn the real stuff," and he cited some John Cage guy who got on stage and did nothing for 3 minutes, he said, "If that counts as music, then I can make up my own stuff," again, I went off on him and REALLY ripped into him. Since then, I haven't let him hear my music or talked about music, unless he brings it up.
Oh, yeah, his music often times is the same harmonics put over differant times, beats and bass lines.... that pisses me off.

 

[tone4days]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

IPB
my 2 cents says let this pedantic clown go ... he thinks he has a vision of something new? fine, let him chase it .. if he wants to emulate cage and the other art music crowd,so be it ... nothing kills music faster than academic snobs ... he tries to intellectually bully people with information and opinions asserted as fact ... screw him ... let him find some other people with low self esteem to put up with it ...

send him a bill for guitar tech services rendered

 

[TwilightOdyssey]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

Well, I haven't seen a thread this heated in a while ...

Indie, you seem to know what your choices are: tough it out, or quit. Or, use the band, to get some expsure to better opportunities. Just don't let it kill your friendship with the guy. Guitarists are easy to find, and friends aren't!! I have a LOT of friends, but I wouldn't want to work with ANY of 'em, because I know what the situation would be like ... it's something to consider, before you totally sour on this guy.

 

[Gearjoneser]

Re: How can people be so naive and stupid?

This thread reminds me of several bands I was in, especially the one's in High School. I really hate being the 'axe man', the guy who does the firing, but in many cases, it opened an opportunity for someone who 'does get it.'

Now, many years later, I have a Zero Tolerance policy for sh!theads. Years can burn away quick by hangin with the wrong idiots. I've told good, talented guys to stay on their sofa, marry their fat b!tch, and lose my number. :blackeye: You know why? Cause they don't 'get it.' When you're trying to lead a band, you've got to be like a horse with blinders on. That means you've got to be like a boss at a company. If an employee can't show up, play the right way, or stay focused on band goals, you're DONE with him! It's even tougher when it's a non-paying band, but you've got to surround yourself with guys who care, or your career in music will never go past the point it is now. Don't ever forget this phrase..."Your band is only as good as it's weakest link." It's true. Your friends won't tell you, and maybe even A&R guys won't tell you.....They'll just pass and go to a band that has nothing but strong links.