Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

ExplorersRock

ExplorersRock

X-Files Duckbucker
Like the title says:
Over the years I’ve made some stupid rules regarding which guitars I would or would not buy only to realize just how idiotic I was being and breaking them… ALL OF THEM! So I wanted to see if anyone else has done this and if they were willing to share. Plus, I thought everyone would enjoy a laugh at my expense, so here are my Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar in order of stupidity. ENJOY!

10.) I will never buy a used guitar A stupid rule and I’m glad I got over it. Fear of getting an overly abused instrument I guess.
9.) I won’t buy another guitar with a tremolo Not necessarily dumb, but a bad reason to pass on an axe that is amazing. There are solutions if the trem isn’t wanted.
8.) I will never buy another maple fretboard Why did I think this? I’ve broken it twice for good reason.
7.) I’m not a “Les Paul Guy” so I will never buy a Les Paul I think my tech laughed for 2 minutes straight when I brought my Epi in for him to set-up. He reminded me of my rule and pointed out that given my record he should‘ve bet someone I’d break it.
6.) I will never buy another Fender Strat I really said this? I've bought 2 more since! A rule twice broken, again. Broke this and rule 8 when I bought my Blacktop Strat.
5.) I’m never going to buy another Explorer, one’s enough HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAAAA!!! Oh MAAAAAN was this a bad one! I said this after I bought my Epi Explorer when I was really frustrated at the neck-heaviness. But Gibson’s are balanced! The Heavens opened, the angels sang, and the Lord spoke saying, “Let my love be known to you through this most excellent guitar!”
4.) I will never buy another Epiphone Hence why my tech laughed for 2 minutes when I broke rule 7. Two rules broken with one trip to Guitar Center.
3.) I will never buy an Ibanez I feel ashamed for having said this, I own 3 now.
2.) I will never buy single coils again. Uh, yeah… Make a rule about something that’s easy to change. I’m an idiot.
1.) I will never buy another guitar with humbuckers. In my defense, I was 16 and the only HB experience I had then was with a Bill Lawrence bridge and a crappy Washburn neck. The Lawrence to this day just doesn't suit me, but the fact that I really made this declaration considering my love for these pickups astounds me. Plus, from an HB route I have numerous options, can put in single coils when there’s a pickguard involved as in a Strat, or with mounting-adjusters. Yeah, versatility sucks!

And just for fun: Bonus points if you can guess what Washburn guitar I had!
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

Unkle Funk's rule number one: There are no rules. If you want it and you afford it, buy it.
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

My rule is that if I like a guitar a lot, and I feel it is worth the price, it's good to go. My tastes have changed in my life, and I am sure they will continue to change. I am on kind of a Strat and Tele kick right now after spending some time on a "pointy kick."

The one guitar I always go back to is a Tele, though. Actually, I prefer the Esquire, but I just call it a Tele as a general term.
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

I am guilty of the trem thing, but a couple guitars recently make me second guess my trem hatred.
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

OP: I'm guessing you had a Washy Dime.

I'm still onboard with the no Strat thing. I just can't play them.

Also: neck heavy Explorers ought to have the top button moved to the back of the neck joint. I don't know why they put them on the top of the body but the nice ones, EG Hamer and Dean, are balanced perfectly and are on the back of the neck joint. This applies to Vs, as well.
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

I once swore to never buy a guitar with a Floyd, cause it's a hassle when tuning and string changing. I passed on a jewel blue Ibanez PGM and bought an Epi LP because of this rule!
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

As the saying goes, rules are made to be broken.
IMO, rules only limit you on this topic.
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

Never had a rule per se but there are preferences that are more than likely to guide me a certain way.
I am a Strat guy, superstrat in fact. I prefer 24 frets to 22, not so much for that high E as for the tone the pickup has when it's installed after the 24th fret. Also really not much of a Les Paul guy and def. not a Gibson guy, I just find that you get very little guitar for very high a cost.
That said, just like there are lemons everywhere, the same applies to gems and if I were lucky enough to find that exceptional guitar that I REALLY bonded with and could afford it, I'd buy it in a split second, no matter what was on that headstock, the number of the frets or the general shape of the guitar.

As a side-note, the closest I ever had to a rule was back when I had two guitars and they both had 22 frets where I wanted a 24-fretted guitar to play those Heavy/Power Metal solos that went all the way up to the high E. I passed up two guitars I absolutely loved just because they had 22 frets and I said that I wanted sth different. Now I deeply regret it for both as both models have long since been discontinued and other examples that I've found didn't impress me nearly as much as those particular ones.

However, in the end I bought a 24-fretted guitar that I still love to this day and after that I said, now I am ok, the next one can be whatever.
Incidentally the next one was indeed again a 22-fretted guitar, as were the next two, but like I said above, my preference to the 24 frets was solidified for an entirely different reason.
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

At one time I wasn't going to buy anything with less than 24 frets. That has changed. Rules are made to be broken or at least have the crap bent out of them.
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

No. I won't buy a guitar with a tremolo. Bigsby or other wise. I just had a couple of Bigsbys on my guitars, and I ended up hating the string changing, and how out of tune they went.
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

I don’t follow rules.

If you doubt me, read some of my post...
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

Rules should not apply to anything guitar...
Buy what you think looks it plays well..
 
Re: Top Ten Stupid Rules For Buying a Guitar

Rule 11: It's not worth the savings to buy a guitar with a repaired broken headstock.

Professionally repaired my ass.

I guess that's not really a STUPID rule. Just don't do it.
 
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