Re: Weird observation
Don't worry much on that mate, really. Just keep on going and play. Don't doubt in yourself. Just do it.
The most beautiful in guitar playing or anything that is done to a depth that there is no perfection. You can try to move as close to it as humanly possible but you will never reach that. After crossing the States with a car you can easily realise that the most fun is driving (progression), not arriving to the destination.
Other than that, try to capture the good content of these old demos. They hold great value: ideas. They can be an unlimited resource of salvaging parts. According to my knowledge, many missing musical jigsaw puzzle parts could be found in prehistoric, bad sounding song demos. They also include your starting points, initial influences, the desire why you grabbed the guitar on the first place anyway. Any time you forget
why you started the whole thing or lose direction, just play an old demo and listen to with love. It's included there.
Because if that happens, where ya gonna go next?
I wonder, after the peak have been passed by, perhaps, learning how to use functionally what left can be the next step.
Before polyarthritis started to weaken my fretting hand a couple of years ago I could play the way that I can't anymore. Fingers are just not that mean and sometimes 1 or 2 fingers should be bypassed / rested to avoid pain when playing a gig. That restricts options and increase position changes. It can be quite a challenge to apply versions B, C, D up to Z that sounds something like the actual part that folks wish to hear when they visit a gig, just tailored to the available resources, power and speed. Without trying to lose the feel.
When I listen to my older stuff, the thing that I find amazing is how much everything changed. How I slowed down, how much less power / energy I have. For example, back in time when I recorded that track I used a 012 set of strings for standard tuning and I played quite intensely so almost ripped the wires off the neck. Now even 009 is heavy sometimes and I play with a soft touch. I am happy that it's still functional what I left, it is just a weird feeling that makes me go, I was really able to do this and that, back in time? I don't feel that to be perfect or anything, it had loads of flaws but compared to the present, I sound like someone else to me.
I'm not moaning at all as less power was some sort of loss, it's just a change. I did my time anyway. As a player I had luck with gear, tone and bands. Had great times, still having and will have them. As a beginner (I was 16) I had the luck to become the lead guitarist of a touring band after some sort of casting where there was no excuse. Parts and solos had to be delivered exactly the way they were and the band was also curious about composing skills. I guess that was why they decided to take me and not much more experienced (and I must admit, better) players. I just had more songs in my guitar. Then, once there, I was not supposed to sound bad. Those guys put a huge amount of trust in me to give that position that just I did not want to fail. So I played all the possible time, was almost dropped out the school due to be missing from classes and failed to live a normal life for a long time - but playing became stage ready right around the start and I've seen things beyond my imagination during the years. Now things change for a slower, more tactical flow. It's all okay. I'm in peace with that.
