I'll tell you why you have this problem: You have never played with me, or anyone else who b!tch slap you for playing with the knobs like they are your d!ck when we are supposed to be getting our rock on!!!
Seriously, in order:
#1 You change strings too often and don't properly stretch them
#2 You don't properly wrap/wind to the post
#3 On a LP (or any 3 per side) you don't tune up to pitch
#4 The nut is binding and needs lubed/recut
#4 The tuners just effing suck (I DID NOT run Kluson smack. They COULD be fine.)
#5 The truss is too loose/tight/messed up in general
#6 The neck is crappy in some fundamental way
After that, the only thing I got is you just have no balls. Rawk out with your cock out. I don't think I have ever encountered tuning so bad that a little attitude and some string English couldn't overcome. Or sometimes a lot. But as was mentioned, when playing Rock & Roll All Night, the 'tude that you indeed are going to do just that is way more important than intonation. see Hendrix for supreme examples of out of tune win (he also has some fail, to be fair, but after bashing it into an amp, wrangling the bar, playing with your teeth, and setting it on fire, "Little Wing" might sound more than a bit off - but Purple Haze? Rock that beyotch!!!!)
It's like stopping every couple minutes to adjust the pillows or change positions during sex - just ruins the mood. Lay her @$$ to the sheets and go to pound town!
Music is the same way - at least any of your more rock oriented.